Magic Milk Straws - REALLY?!

I must be REALLY observant. Like really, really. Things just catch my eye and they either amuse me or disturb me greatly.

Let's start with what disturbed me first.  (Check back later for an amusing post)

I'm at Target and I see these things called "Milk Straws"... Besides taking a detour to tell the general public.... GEEZZUSS CHRIST you can get calcium from sources other than what the dairy industry owned government brainwashed you into thinking was only milk... Is it really a problem to get your kids to drink milk?? I don't know, this is why I have a dog, so if he's bad I can sell him. I think you get in trouble if you do that with your kids. Not quite sure, but since I have none it's a moot issue anyways.

So here is this prized STRAW. Mmmmm strawberry milk is good right? Oh, and whats this? MAGIC Milk Straws. That's WAY better than a regular already made up thing any day, right?

However, I can't help myself. I wish ignorance was bliss, but I need to know - What's in a MAGIC MILK STRAW?

Oh no shit, you don't say?? Not just one, or two, but THREE different derivatives of SUGAR?!?! REALLY???? Uh huh. Yeah, it's real important your kids drink that milk right? I find my kids drink their milk better when I shoot them full of MAGIC heroin. Certainly the negative effects of that are counterbalanced and THEN SOME by the worlds only source of calcium, right? RIGHT?

Very disturbing folks, VERY DISTURBING!

WHOA I'm WAY behind!

I think I told you guys to check back for some pictures of what I've been up to!

A popular question from my friends tends to be: "So, besides running, what have you been up to?"

*Crickets*
*Eerie silence*

There's something else other than running? HAHA

Apparently, there is, but not around these parts! My every meal, sleep cycle, and purchase is seeming to revolve around that right now. So Just bear with me here, it MAY come up again!

Here is a text conversation that THOROUGHLY amused me:

I can see now, this is gonna be more of a food blog today. I'm really having to eat a lot! And in a different order. It's throwing me for a loop! I'm supposed to eat breakfast which grieves me deeply! My parents have a nectarine tree though, and I have been enjoying some fresh fruits. I mean, hello Central Valley, we have the best produce in the world available at our fingertips! SEE....?

And not just fruit, but vegetables too. If you think you dislike tomatoes but you've never had a homegrown one, THINK AGAIN! I don't care how ripe or red or whatever, one that comes off the vine of your friends moms tomato plant is the juiciest, meatiest, tastiest thing ever. EVAH! As a close second, have you ever tried heirloom tomatoes?  If not, get your ass to Whole Foods - they are in season now and pretty orgasmic. LOOK at this mountain of heaven!

Last week I made a 5 ingredient pasta that blew my mind! So easy, so tasty! Click here to view the recipes I've posted on Taste Fresno!

Also, I tried the new Eureka! Burger on Palm & Nees. I'm getting tired and don't really feel like writing a full review of the place, I will only say that they are new and have some kinks to work out. And also, I think they were thoroughly befuddled by their own homemade veggie burger. (1) They made it with beets which is disconcerting to see a bright red/purple thing under the bun. (2) It was barely cooked and had the consistency of an avocado, so while the flavor was good, it was mushy and unappetizing!

Yep, that's all I got for now. Ran 11 miles this morning (The furthest EVER!) and now prepping for bed because I need to meet the group tomorrow morning for another 6 miles at 7am!!

Last weeks re-cap in pictures (NOW INCLUDING UTTER DEVASTATION)

I outed myself as a "Big Cherry" lover!

I accomplished a major goal on my marathon journey Sunday. It may not be much, and I'm actually pretty hard on myself so it's not actually enough either, BUT it IS something I've never done before. I ran 5.25 miles! I've never ran that far EVER. Sadly, it's only 1/3 of what I need to complete my Half Marathon, but I'm gonna keep going.

While I was on that journey, it rewarded me with a breathtaking sunset.

I also got my hair done! Fluorescent red! Thanks Troy!

I had a great time tasting wine this last weekend and Vino 100, but since I'm a wine club member, it's the gift that keeps on giving. This months selection is Yummy Yumma. One of the few whites I'm loving.
Here's the Clayhouse Adobe White and it's under $15!!

And while I normally stick with Chardonnay, I tried this Sauvignon Blanc by Ancient Peaks and it's a keeper too!

If you doubted - HarMar is still the sweetest, even when he's in "The Wild"... and by that, I mean peeing on all my moms patio furniture in the inner courtyard.

Sometimes, they make it seem like a bad thing to walk around with your head in the clouds, but when I look up I always wind up scrambling for my camera. Aren't these clouds fantastic?

NOW - PREPARE FOR WORST... LOOK what is wrecking my world right now... My precious beloved Chocodile has betrayed me. Is nothing sacred? Must everything that I love be taken from me? I don't know if I'll ever stop grieving. Why am I a vegetarian. WHY?!

I may have to take another sabbatical from my blog just to deal with the depth of my despair!

No promises, okay?

I miss my friends. You know, all of you who hung on my every word? Yeah, I got so busy and stressed and a bunch of other stuff that I sorta had to fall back for a bit.

But no promises, okay?

It's funny because everything I think and see and take a picture of is in preparation for this blog, but after a full days work, and exercise, and trying to make something to eat, and trying to just ZONE OUT for a second with the TV, I then realize it's midnight, crawl into bed, and I haven't even turned the computer on!

I did reconnect with my trainer, so I'm back on board to be sexy hot and skinny again! Oh and run that half marathon in November, you know, whatever...

So, let's see... what have I been up to?

I finally tried out Mad Duck Grill & Taphouse. It's kinda small in there, but the staff was nice, the food and service was great, the prices were reasonable, and they had lots of veggie options! I had a goat cheese and beet salad (YUM) and a burger w/ a garden patty. OH! and they have Mtn Dew! I will definitely eat here again!

Also, something I've been enjoying is weekend movies and popcorn. I last watched Law Abiding Citizen and WOW I thought that was a good movie! The end was a bit "much" but it surprised me! Watch it. During that movie, I posted a pic of my popcorn onto Twitter and discovered there's a bit of controversy when it comes to "embellishing" your popcorn. I like mine with peanut M&M's, peanut butter M&M's, and sour patch kids. What say you?

Oh yeah, and today no less, guess who's back? Remember THIS? Yep, I just snapped this picture TODAY!! THE GEESE ARE BACK!  And so is the terror of approaching my car at night. So is the walk to my car laden with treacherous poop mines. SIGH. It's not a good time!

So let's see... What else?

I joined the wine club at Vino 100 which I think is super cool. I'm going this weekend for my wine club tasting.

I have a hair appointment this Saturday, which I desperately need and I'm really looking forward to.

The weather is warming up and I need to go buy some shorts. I think I'm going to swing by the Benefit Bar at the mall and get my eyebrows done too. And while I'm in Macy's maybe go buy some shoes. Hell, why not, right? Yeah, it's time for ALL OF THAT!

OH, and I tried Casa de Tamales. I want to eat there every day. That shit is GOOD! They offered many different types of GOURMET vegetarian options and even though it's all the way across town from me, it's SOO worth it. Yep. GO THERE. NOW.

Alright, I gotta go. I have months of useless knowledge and jokes and trivia and MISCELLANEOUS crap to share, but no one likes a really long blog post, do they? I'll try to check in more often. I WILL TRY!

But... No promises, okay?

Run for the Roses

So I took a little hiatus from blogging, but I'm hoping to make a comeback!

One of the things I've been up to was helping cater my parents annual Kentucky Derby party.
You can see pictures of last years HERE.
This was the 136th Kentucky Derby.

In customary fashion, I donned my spring dress and wide brimmed hat (The hat didn't make it that long... I'm not much of a hat person. HA HA):

And while looking this good, I cooked up a storm!

WHEW - that was A LOT of food. I think I need a drink! Remember the also customary mint julep?

Oh, did you think that the party was over? After Calvin Borel unexpectedly won his 3rd Derby on Super Saver, I started prepping dinner. Everyone was STUFFED, but we made room!

I've been gone so long, I think I forgot how to write a truly riveting blog. Hopefully the pictures make up for it!

OH... I forgot! HARMAR THE GREAT! These festivities really tuckered him out, but isn't he the cutest thing EVAH?

PS - to be fair, my mom did all the shopping, the meat came from the honey baked ham store, and a nice friend of the family made the rice and cupcakes. Don't want you thinking I'm **THAT** cool. :)

QUICK Weekend Update

Oh my gosh, I've been gone. I've been down. I've been up. I've been all over the place.

Here's a quick recap in pictures.

Starting Thursday, my parents went up to their friends cabin and I got to hang with my brother. It was pretty cool as we don't really spend much time together. Even when I'm there, he's all wrapped up in his phone and his video games, so now he was all mine.

We went to the gym together and the child wore jeans. JEANS! It was unbelievable! I am SO JEALOUS of someone who doesn't know what it's like to experience shame. HA!

I do love food and he's 17 and hollow, so he likes to eat too. We went and tried Chapala grill which was very tasty. We went and tried Batter Up Pancakes which was delicious!

We went to the Tower District Saturday night and watched Travis Sheridens "Man in Labor" Rogue show. That was entertaining and I won a $50 gift certificate to Trelio's! I AM SO STOKED ABOUT THAT!

On Sunday we ventured Downtown and tried lunch at Iron Bird Cafe. This was really really tasty and I would like to go back there again for lunch sometime soon!

After mom and dad got home, I was unsuccessful at fixing her iPod which was frustrating for all! Sorry mom, your house is like a Technological Bermuda Triangle. Some weird unexplained shit happens within those 4 walls.

When I got home Sunday night I decided to make myself a (fake) Chicken Caesar Salad. Everyone makes fun of me because I'm just cooking for me and just make and eat it straight out of a big bowl. What's the point of serving it into a smaller bowl when I'm just going to eat it all anyways? It just dirties another bowl. So here's a picture... Make fun of me all you want!

And sometimes, life is just rough and you need a nice glass of wine to savor. Cheers my friends!

On the note, daylight savings time is kicking my butt and getting to work at 7am tomorrow is going to punish me severely. SO I better get to bed! GOOD NIGHT!

You want some of deez nutz...?

What's the lyrics to that Ice Cube song?
-----------
You must notta dun good on Fear Factor
Cuz you couldn't eat deez nutz
Big as a tractor...
-----------

I know, I know, I'm a closet hard core 90's gangster. LOL Whatever.  Part of my personal betterment always involves diet. I'm trying to drink water UGH UGH and also eat better. I really just believe in balance. I try to cook pure and fresh most of the time and substitute my massive chip/carb cravings with a more natural substitute.

Normally, I would say I count calories (cuz I kinda do) and nuts are high in calories, but I give myself a pass because I've now switched to raw and unsalted nuts. Boring? YES! Tasty? NO! BUT, I can experience the pleasure and process of eating MORE.  I feel like if something is 100% natural and pure you can eat as much of it as you like and it doesn't count. Like broccoli or avocado. MMM

What's up with the Brazil nut though? That sucker IS as big as a tractor! Those are my favorites. The filberts, on the other hand, can suck it! I throw them STRAIGHT in the trash *shivers* pew pew no no.

Oh, and I made the most delicious Chick'n Caccitore Stew on Monday. So simple, and fresh, and YUMMY! I'll try to get the recipe up on One Heavenly Kitchen soon. I've been terrible about finishing my videos. I'll get back into it soon, I promise.

Anyways, that's what I've been up to!

So how old does this make me? 50? 60?

I received an iTunes gift card for Christmas. I get them from time to time and I just keep the credits online so I can buy what I want (music/iPhone apps/etc) whenever the mood hits me. (Anything Apple or for the kitchen is a surefire way to win my heart BTW)

So what hits me yesterday? MUSIC - I want a new CD. And what do I wind up buying? The Best of Sade, of course. I guess she has a new album coming out and I can't wait for that, but OMG I AM MY MOTHER!!  She was always rockin' Sade. That and DeBarge. Enough for me to exclaim when I was 5 that I HATED music and that I would NEVER own a radio! (Pretty sure my mom played RECORDS!!! and there was no such thing as a CD yet so radio was where it was at maaan... HA HA)

I'm LOVING listening to my new CD now, but there's a little voice inside telling me this is, in fact, the final sign of the times. Forget all those earthquakes in one place after another - god is speaking to us all. Be forewarned!

Oh yeah, and I made and ate a really good sandwich the other day. MMMM

Wha? Where have I been?

I don't know. I've been busy! Here I set all these New Years resolutions which take a lot of time. Can you ever forgive me?

My mind has been working though. I have all these things I want to say, but they deserve more than half ass paragraphs.

#3 on my resolutions was to read 2 books.

I have my 2 books all picked out. I'm 1/2 way through the 1st one.  Change your thoughts, change your life - Living the wisdom of the Tao by Wayne Dyer. WOW I Love this book. Don't you remember me quoting the 29th Verse of the Tao every few months. Little known fact maybe...? I read that verse every day. EVERY DAY.

My 2nd book? I haven't bought it yet, but I'm so excited to renew my passion for healthy eating and compassionate eating. I've decided my next purchase will be Eating Animals by Jonathan Safran Foer. Every person I encounter asks me WHY? I have this long complicated answer but secretly I roll the windows down when I drive past Famous Dave's. I may catch a morsel of bacon or pepperoni juice in a shared meal and I savor it. I dream about sleeping in and eating an entire bed of chicken strips and then I wake up and say WHY AM I DOING THIS? I'm wrapping up my 7th year of vegetarianism right now and I need to put some energy into this path I'm on and make sure it's still the right one for me.

Guess that's kinda heavy, right? Well, I told you I've been busy! I'll keep you posted :)

I'm still going to the gym, but I also like to not deny myself so here's a picture of me eating a toffee bar, a lemon bar, and a Mtn Dew for lunch last week. My stomach did hurt, but that's okay! Oh yeah, I texted this pic to my trainer too in case you were curious! Full disclosure!

Olive Oil Obsessions

I recently made a trip down to We Olive in Fig Garden Village. We Olive is great because they have most of their products out on display to try. For those of you who know me, I'm an antipasto plate LOVER and We Olive holds all the little delicacies I need to display quite a spread!

I'm all about bread and dipping oil and drizzling olive oil over my tomatoes and avocados, etc.

My favorite every day olive oil is a garlic infused olive oil from Consorzio. (You can get a giant bottle at Costco for under $10!!)

For dipping I just tried (and might I add, already finished!!) a bottle of Made In Napa Valley Parmesan and Garlic dipping oil. I actually only used it for dipping bread into it, but you could totally pour this on stuff to! ALL THUMBS UP!

The other olive oil I tried is a lime infused olive oil from Pasolivo. The possibilities are endless for this one! I drizzle it on avocado, add it to guacamole, and add a tad to my tortilla soup. It's just about the most heavenly thing ever. This one is a little pricey at $20 a bottle, but you don't need much and it will go far AND IT'S WORTH IT!

One Heavenly Kitchen

Hey Hey Everyone, I have exciting news!

For those of you who've been coming around for a while, you may have noticed that nestled in between all the neurosis and sarcasm, there was a pretty strong food theme going.

Well, why not channel that into something more interactive? I've always loved to cook and I've always loved computers, so I decided to make a cooking show! My brother is the camera man and we're having way too much fun!

If you like to eat, please check out my new site One Heavenly Kitchen for weekly videos on what I'm eating and how to make it.

Because it's just a fun side project, it may not have the best designs and graphics, but I hope you enjoy it! Keep me posted on anything you'd like to see me make or what not.

Also, I've been featured on the brand new Taste Fresno site today as a local Fresno foodie/blogger/techie/cook/I don't know - so go check out their new vamped out site too! IT DELICIOUS!

Look, Listen, Learn...

I haven't done a product or place review in a while... So here it goes!

LOOK!

This weekend I took a trip to We Olive in the Fig Garden Village. I just love that place because it has every little thing that I want to taste and cook with and snack on! Besides a bevy of different olive oils, there are dipping oils, spreads, and home marinated olives. Go there, it's heaven.

LISTEN!
 

WHOA - sorry, that may be a bit of a shock from the We Olive thing, huh? Sorry. If you didn't know, I listen to a pretty wide variety of music. The above picture is of Har Mar Superstar doing his "thang" up on stage. I've seen him twice in concert and this shocking display definitely caught my attention. He's sort of a strange unattractive man that has such confidence, such swagger that all the ladies throw themselves at him. Yeah, even I have a bit of a crush on him. Enough that I named my puppy after him. Hey, who's more of a lady killer than him??

ANYWAYS - I just found out that HarMar Superstar just put out a new album - which I immediately bought on iTunes and it hasn't left my CD player YET! Watch the video if you dare:


LEARN:
Seems like everyone I know has been sick lately *knock on wood* and my plan for health involves MASS amounts of Vitamin C and a revolutionary cureall drink. Walk into the light with me and let's all start drinking KAMBUCHA!!!!!!

I think drinking this is a bit of a cult thing, but count me in as a BELIEVER. When I bought the first bottle, the cashier made a special call to someone who took me into a back room and explained to me all it's magical powers. I've heard everything from it can break a 104 fever to cure cancer. It's sort of fermented and kinda tastes like vinegar, but this isn't helping sell you on it, is it?! OMG! Just try the grape flavored one and let me know what you think! I have like 1/2 a cup a day and I get a burst of energy and feel great and I'm still healthy. RAWK!

OK FOLKS... I'm out. Catch ya later!