Something tells me...

...that when a hot 21 year old musclebound man leaves you dripping wet and out of breath, it SHOULD be a good thing.

But it's not... it's SOOOOO NOT.

Actually, I'd like to introduce you to Erik. He's my trainer at Fitness Together. He puts up with my CONSTANT complaining like a champ, he stays calm while I challenge ever single thing he asks me to do, and he's just a really good person.

Anyways, today's training session was BRUTAL! I actually had to pause for a minute because I feared I would throw up. I've got 6 months before this stupid marathon and I'm pretty sure this is the stupidest idea I've ever had, but I'm kind of committed now! Tonight I actually re-upped my training plan to go Tuesday and Thursday every week and I'm going to try and join a running club this weekend.

There's something wrong with me right? 

Yeah, I'm pretty sure.

For no other reason than because I can...

Well Ladies, This one is for you. WHO DOESN'T LOVE MARK WAHLBERG?

I don't think too many words are necessary here, so I'll just step out and leave you two a little alone time!

You don't wanna know...

Yeah, been meaning to write, but just haven’t had a chance. I have work projects and personal obligations and advertising meetings and crazy deadlines. I’m trying to be organized and yet still So I’m taking 10 minutes to eat my soup and type something.

Had a bunch of notes about things I wanted to tell you, but in my panic to get something... ANYTHING accomplished I left it at home.

HOWEVER, I DO REMEMBER ONE THING!

Do you guys remember the Seinfeld episode where Jerry felt weird about making out with his girlfriend during Schindler’s List, but it was like the only time they could be alone? I seem to have a pattern for being oddly turned on at COMPLETELY INAPPROPRIATE times at the movies.

1) American History X - Edward Norton.

Yup, I know! There he is running out into the street to “curb” some guy and all I can think is - So those are boxers huh? That’s hot. Hmmm, he looks good... little lower....
I’m imagining that was the opposite of the point.

2) Amistad - Djimon Hounsou

(Yes, I realize this picture was not from the movie... But if it isn't proof that this guy is a perfect specimen of man, I don't know what is... HEY, IT'S MY BLOG, I'LL DO WHAT I WANT!)
I’m thinking somewhere along the way I should have been really upset about slavery and injustice, etc etc
That might have happened if it wasn’t for the fact that all I could think was: DAMN that’s a lot of really fine black men. Can we go back to the boat scene?
Yes, I’ll hang my head in shame now.

3) Easter Promises - Viggo Mortensen

Alright folks, this is the last one, I promise. But there he is, all bad ass and naked. I suppose I should have been bothered by the blood and attempted murder, but funny story... I wasn’t. It was hot. I’m sorry.

Ok I’m not sorry.

Well, I’m sorry for those of you who think I’m being serious - or for anyone who thinks I have no soul and condone slavery and murder, but other than that - NOT SORRY!

Anyways, I tried to warn you that you didn't wanna know - you just had to read it, didn't you?!

Goodness...

Well, I'm in a picture taking mood and I actually did something exciting this last weekend, so why not share that with the world right?

Back in... uhhh... 1994... I went snowboarding for the first time... AND I LOVED IT! I think that was about the time they "invented" snowboarding! Admittedly, being around at the INVENTION of something makes me feel really old... SO we're gonna move on!!!

Sometime between 1994 and 1996 there were some really cute boys up at the summit. Boys I decided I wanted to hang out with. So I left my group and I followed these cute boys into the woods, off the beaten path, over the jumps, and then down the hill to the hospital to get the necessary cast put on my arm - because - well - I suck at snowboarding - and I break easy - and god keeps telling me to appreciate my desk job - but I don't listen well and I am a REALLY slow learner!

Actually I did go again thru 2000, but by then I was married and busy and somehow I looked at the calendar and NINE YEARS WENT BY and I realized I hadn't been! And I own the boots and the board and all the stuff too! So yeah...lame!

This time I went with cute boys I do know.


Boys who are really good and do jumps and stuff:


And they even said I didn't hold them up at all! Actually they held me up, as in each grabbed a shoulder as we got off the lift probably because I do know how to play human dominoes! No, seriously...


I wish you could see my cute snowboard. It has goldfish on it :) I also wish you could see me reppin' my hardcore Pantera shirt, but that's ok - I already know I'm super cool! HA!

Actually, I had lots of fun, didn't get too competitive and push myself, and I didn't break anything! I just needed to get my confidence back that I can actually go outside and not fall apart. If I go again I'll try more things I think!

The year before last was a milestone when I got a bike for my birthday and I FREAKED out because I hadn't rode a bike since I broke my leg... and I was sure I was going to die. Now I can ride my bike without dying and it's awesome - especially since I live right next to a lake and our cities nicest park/bike trail...

Now, dare I try to overcome my fear of RollerBlading next? (Yes yes, you guessed it, broke my elbow doing that...) Maybe I better just stick to the basics...

Turn Ons...

I’m always fascinated by nuance... and the differences that make each of us who we are. Ok, that’s not really what I was going to write about, I think this blog is going to go a couple different places.

One thing I was thinking about is the type of men that I draw to me. I think any of you that know my history know that there is absolutely NO similarities between the major relationships in my life. From black to white, tall to short, skinny to muscular, creative to by the book, realists to dreamers - I magically managed to find exact opposites. And the joke is, that besides being indeed male, they are all polar opposites. (I would assume most people would only consider there to be 2 opposites of any given thing, so maybe it’s more like a triangle or something... I don’t know!)

ANYWAYS... I figured out the similarity!!! Besides a wicked sense of sarcasm and humor, they were all brilliant! IQ’s off the charts (each in their own way very intimidating to me...) From one who wanted to sit at home and fiddle with magnets and build and create things and read Mensa books just for time killing fun, to another who had mastery over the computer in a methodical calculating mathematical programming way that would really bend your brain (and I use computers okay people? THIS shit was above complicated) to another one who totally gets off on light and space and time and geography and the universe, to math and fact and figures... They were all mentally sharp, voracious readers, eloquent, well spoken men. WOW!

Know what’s odd? They all had what I would consider to be almost identical handwriting! LOL (Strange fact, I know - had to share)

So why am I writing this blog? Because I discovered something about myself that my roommates are now making fun of me for. Know what turns me on? A man that reads. A man that can spell! A man that didn’t have to dictionary.com the word voracious I used 2 paragraphs up... A man that WRITES! I find myself having a quite magical experience when I read a properly formed sentence. I get off on proper punctuation! Paragraphs! Capitalization! (Now this isn’t so that you can re-read all of my writings for typo’s and misspellings and probably a few too many exclamation points and ...dot dot dots... but I do write like I talk - HEY wait a minute - this isn’t about me okay!?)

So, how lame do you think I am now?

HAVE YOU EVER GOTTEN AN EMAIL IN ALL CAPITALS THAT JUST MAKES YOU WANT TO PULL YOUR HAIR OUT!? or what about the guy who just says yo wassup mama do you wanna go come see myb crib laters in his ghetto slang where you have to try and figure out what the hell he is even talking about or the one who just keeps writing and writing and writing and never spaces or stops or hits the return key ever and doesn’t use a period to break up the sentences and never spell checks and you throw up a little in your mouth imagining what it must be like to talk to this guy in person once let alone for the rest of your life

YEAH, THAT IS WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT! I can’t handle it!

So anyways, I had to share! I took quite the ribbing a couple days ago from Melt and Beck about how abnormal this new discovery is. I don’t care what you all say though - it’s my fetish and I like it!