Hey Hey! Look at me, I want in!

The word passion is a funny word. For all intents and purposes, I'd like to classify myself as a passionate person. There is an intensity deep inside me. How I talk and how I eat and how I work ebbs energy and desire. (NO, not in a sexual way!) I guess I shouldn't be talking about myself like that - makes me seem special which I wasn't trying to do.

Mostly, I'm writing because this passion, this intensity, this energy is like a drug. I can't get enough of it. I love being around people who are equally as passionate about what they do.  No one has an endless supply of energy - you have to do things and surround yourself with people that refuel you.

Here's my problem: I WANT IN. You like what you do? I want to do that too!

When I watched people running by my house in the Two-Cities Marathon, there was cheering and camaraderie and a goal and a reward and god-dammit I want to run a marathon!! I saw them in the throws of near death. I have 53% lung capacity. I haven't run since 4th grade. BUT WHEN I SAW the commitment, the excitement, the PASSION all I could think was "I should start training!" I went and bought running shoes. I hired a trainer at the gym. Isn't this ridiculous?

There's so much good in this world and sometimes we don't know it until a friend shows us the way. I just can't shake the thought that if someone else loves something, maybe I'll love it too! Am I missing out on something?

I know someone online who likes to knit. Most of what she talks about involves yarn and dyeing yarn and meeting with groups to knit together. If you see her at a dj event or a concert or even a grocery store checkout, she's knitting. There's no denying her passion for this venture. I WANT TO DO THAT TOO!! Maybe you don't know this, but my grandma taught me how to crochet. I have a blanket half done in my closet? Do you know I dug that sucker out and I have set myself a goal of finishing it by spring time???

Truthfully, sometimes I think I need an intervention. I just keep dividing myself and dividing myself until I'm doing 10 millions things. I'm chasing that high. I want to eat and talk and sleep and watch TV and cook and sit and blink and do EVERYTHING at level 10.

There is another woman I've met who is well spoken and funny and kind. Her passion? Rescue dogs. She fosters dogs, helps out at the shelters, and lives and breathes finding these pups good homes. I work 12 hours a day, I'm training to be a runner, and trying to crochet a blanket. Shouldn't I foster a dog too? I WANT IN! Who loves their dog more than me? Shouldn't I spend weekends doing that?

~HELP ME~

I already have 2 blogs, a cooking show, a full time job, and a family that gets about zero of my attentions... STOP ME! When you divide and take on more and more, you can do a lot of varied things, but you can't do them well. It saddens me to know that by trying all these new things, I'm essentially giving up the option of being the best at any one thing.

Does anyone else experience this? What's it like to find one thing that you love and perfecting what you do?

Unstable fixations - Part 2 - HARMAR!!

Have you ever watched that show, The Dog Whisperer?  He always talks about the dogs being "unstable" when they fixate on things like your vacuum cleaner.  Is it weird when you're the human, but you fixate on your dog? WHOA - I should do drugs and totally trip out on that one.

HA HA

Anyways, I could ramble on and on (That post is coming) but pictures are so much easier and as much as it hurts me that you don't hang on my every word, I need to remind myself that the world needs more pictures of the cutest dog on earth.

Therefore, it's like, pretty much, my fiduciary responsibility to oblige.

(MUSCLE MAN)

(HEAT JUNKIE)

(NEW BED!)

(Oh My God - THE SHAME)
I'm sorry, I don't even do the Christmas thing, but this is priceless!

Unstable fixations - Part 1 - COLOR!!

OMG - have you guys been outside? Fall is my favorite favorite favorite season! I actually think spring is pretty awesome too, but right now I am SO enamored with fall, it's not even funny. I keep taking pictures of trees and hoping that one of them will be able to express even an ounce of the vividness I see in my wonderful eyes!  How am I doing?

This tree is across the street from my kitchen window. It's like a rainbow!!

Speaking of rainbows... I saw a real rainbow last week. I got so excited. LOOK!

Oh My Gosh You Guys! I just want to walk around and stare at every tree and soak in the COLOR! What are you fixated on? Am I the only one walking around with my camera in hand and my head up in the trees?

What I've been up to... And FREE PORN!

Hey everyone...

MISS ME? I've been busy supporting our economy! In the world of shopping, NO ONE can hang with me in a shopping marathon. Oh, you think you can? We'll talk when hour 6 rolls around... They ALL talk the talk, but no one has ever walked the walk.

Well, with the exception of MY MOTHER - that women will BREAK YOU! She's got a handicap placard and she knows how to use it! She also knows how to use her children as pack mules to haul the scrap metal or whatever she purchased that one time that weighed like 200 lbs back to the car. HA HA, just kidding mom, I LOVE YOU! Well, that was a true story, so not really kidding...

A N Y W A Y S... Move along, nothing to see here !!!

I don't have enough time to put on a fashion show for you, but I got a little be of everything. Jackets, closed toed shoes, a shrug, shirts, jewelry... Gotta prep for winter, ya know?! However, every shopping trip produces something SO EXCITING, I get worked up just THINKING about it. Feast your eyes on my new lady friend. Yeah, I pretty much went lesbian just for her and her hot sister.

Yes, I know this is disturbing. I'm sorry. I LOVE SHOES! and Guess shoes, particularly those by Marciano are starting to multiply in my closet. Sometimes I just sit on the floor in my closet and look at all my little pretties. Is that weird? WHAT? WHY?!?! It makes me so happy though!

Wanna see what totally turns me on? Here's some FREE PORN for you. Go ahead, it's work safe... What? Don't you trust me? Just click it! C'MON!!

Speaking of fashion - it's a lot of work to even look semi put together! I think that's about the time some people just wave the white flag. They surrender. They. dont. care. This concept is foreign to me from every vantage point. On that note, I give to you the worst dressed man of the week.

Alright, enough of that nonsense... Don't you want to hear about other thing's that I think are cool that actually make me uncool?  LOOK AT THE LITTLE BASIL BABIES in my Aerogarden! They're growing up so fast... Why just a couple weeks ago I remember...

Okay, well, shoes, porn, and basil is about as wide a range of topics as I'm willing to cover today. I'm gonna call it a night now! G'night everyone!

Locked up abroad

Has anyone seen this show on National Geographic channel?

I just lost 3 hours watching reruns of it.

WOW EEE WOW

Someone kill the power to this house will you? It's the only way I'll be able to leave this couch!

HELP!

O is for Obsession!

Hi everybody! I've been utterly boring and completely holed up in my own little world! Basically I've been trying to see how quickly I could deplete my iPhone battery. Oh wait, no, that's not what I've been trying to do! Truth is, I have an obsession!!!

If you love words like I do, me even telling you about it is almost cruel. Let me introduce you to....

TWISTY TEXT!

You get a 7 letter word and you just move them around to try and create as many words as you can! And all in 2 min 30 secondss. OMG it's addicting!! I could lose 3 hours like (SNAP) that!

So, I gotta go. My iPhone is calling to me! :)

Raccoons and Strippers turn out to be oddly similar

I’d like you to look at me. Look up at the top of this blog, maybe to the side, okay, even look below this post... WAIT, Oh my god, how many freakin’ pictures do I have of myself on this blog?? Apparently I should add narcissism to my list of afflictions - geeeezzzzuuussss!

Okay, ANYWAYS, back to me - LOOK AT ME! What you see folks is the the ugly face of addiction! Besides having an addictive personality (Actually, 2 random people have described me recently as “infectious” {in keeping with my narcissistic ways} which I obviously took as a compliment) I am also, quite possibly, addicted to every other possible thing you can be addicted to. To some who read this, that will come across as a rather extreme statement, lest you keep reading and discover I’m also addicted to exaggerating. How can I live larger than life unless I lie, right?

Honestly I believe the government is conspiring against me! There are some things in this life I just cannot live with out.
1) Chapstick
2) Lotion
3) Q-Tips

As I vegetarian, I find beef jerky to be exceptionally unattractive. One hour without one of the above listed products and I shrivel up and age at least 50 years. Okay, that was an exaggeration, my apologies - 30 years... I would age AT LEAST 30 years. Still you skoff? From my stationary chair, I offer you this picture of the lotion/chapsticks I have within an arms reach. And since my roommate Melissa lovingly refers to me as T-rex, that’s like 2 feet max - SERIOUSLY... I’m just sayin’...

Since I’m trying not to be a sensationalist, that HONESTLY was what I found in my desk here at work!

Here’s a new one that’s just starting to rear it’s shiny head - GLITTER. I am totally addicted to glitter. I love looking at sparkly stuff, so much so that now I apply shimmery eye shadow, glitter eye liner, and a glitter liquid liner to my eyes. I have the prettiest eyes if I do say so to my vainglorious self. Truth be told, as the day wears on, the glitter works its way onto my eye lashes and into my eyes and down my face so that by 5 pm all I see is sparkles and shimmers and shooting stars. I live in a prism of glitter reverb that would rival the best LCD trip you’ve ever had. A day seeing through my eyes is probably like being trapped inside a Pink Floyd video. Except, I just googled Pink Floyd videos on youtube - being as I was born in 1978 - and NOW THEY TELL ME they didn’t even have music videos back then - what the fuck!? The few I did watch were of like his concerts and they seemed pretty trippy and you know what? Whatever! Just hum to yourself “Hello Hellooo, is there anybody. out. there. ??” You get the point. It’s a lot of fucking glitter okay - that’s the point!

Hell, I’ve got so much stuff going on that I shouldn’t even be driving. I ran into an old friend at Target 2 weeks ago and she made reference to me resembling a raccoon. I didn’t really understand that analogy since I thought moths were attracted to shiny stuff and raccoons were more garbage bandits of the rodent variety, but then again, you can’t be a true junkie unless you’ve got yourself all hopped up and dug through the trash for dinner right? Soooo maybe she’s right? Actually, the more I think about it, strippers and raccoons have a lot in common. Of course, I haven’t perfected the titty glitter thing just yet - I’ve mostly wanted to be feminist **HEY BUDDY, eyes up here okay?!** but I’m only a year into this and as my tolerance grows I’ll be hittin’ the harder stuff soon enough. GIVE IT TIME PEOPLE!

I think I’m also addicted to smell though. NO, I don’t want to smell you - I’m full of self-love remember? Unfortunately, after about 15 different products (Body wash, shampoo, conditioner, deodorant, lotion, perfume, perfumed lotion, hair smoother, hair spray, and more!) I fear I smell like a $3 french whore up in this bitch! Actually, I think the original saying was a $2 french whore, but with the economy right now and the fact that all those products are expensive, I’ve taken the liberty of raising the price a dollar! OH OH, you know what?!?!?! I even have scented body glitter! Can you say OMG!?

By the way, what the hell is a velvet tuberose and why do I always pronounce it turbose? (That's the bath & body lotion scent I prefer) Like I think I want to smell like a large but very fast woman? Like you know, turbo, but the OSE part denotes largeness... Everyone knows this, must I explain every. thing. to. you? Sigh.

Alright people, my 3 o'clock break is over and we're a little less than an hour away from 5 pm's impending disco fever revival, so I gotta go!

As a side not, if this means anything to you - you will know how funny it is.
People that eat chicken feet can’t get diabetes. Say goodbye.

By the looks of things, I must be a drinker...

Quick little post tonight as I'm dog-tired. My sleep schedule got all messed up making those baskets for work. Here they are in all their glory. (This isn't all of them! There were SO MANY! 60 to be exact. Oh, and by the way, if you've ever made SIXTY of anything, you would totally know how hard that is!)

Okay, moving on... I've got lots of random things to show here!

My house is awesome. How the universe drew us together, I'll never know, but you couldn't measure my love for "my girls" on any earthly scale. We have a few vices though. You may want to CLICK HERE to see about our food hoarding problem.

I must be morbid, but I often think, if I died today and someone had to clean up my life, what would they think? I'm pretty sure it wouldn't be a good impression. Issue #7 - "She's a drinker." Behold all of our CUPS.

Yeah, pretty much, that's what I said. Holy shit that's a lot of cups! We have every possible drinking contraption known to man. Oh wait, did you think that was it?

I'm sure an entire shelf dedicated to shot glasses wasn't enough - you've gotta have sports bottles and pitchers and thermos' too! What's that? All you've seen is coffee mugs, shot glasses, cute cups, wine & champagne glasses, and the above and you're not impressed? Don't act like this show is over... cuz it aint! FEAST YOUR EYES ON THIS!

I know folks... I know - we have a serious problem. We are addicted to drinking and I personally only enjoy it if it is done from an appropriate genre of cup.

There you have it, my dirty little confession - I'M A DRINKER!

The WTF Blanket

This is HILARIOUS... and totally makes me laugh out loud every time I watch it!



Also, I find this mildly amusing too - although my coworkers are starting to find it overwhelming. I'm just trying to recycle... people. And they don't take my trash out anymore O.K.!?!


You can see my progress by clicking HERE And unfortunately, the picture above is a fresh start. I already recycled the last batch!

Uhhh, Houston - We have a problem...

Well, I don't know. I'm happy... does this look like a problem to YOU?



During times of economic distress, they stop taking your trash out. Apparently this can lead to a very interesting discovery. I'm a junkie. A Mountain Dew and Sugar Free Rockstar loving fool!

Anyone wanna have 15 conversations at once, right now?

3 blogs in 1 day!

I know, I'm just sitting here writing blog after blog. My brain is on hyperspeed and and I have all these things I think that I want to tell the world, but I never stop to write it down. So today, I had time and you are getting 3 blogs in 1 day. AWESOME!

The only thing I wanted to mention today is about my house. We are funny here! There are 3 of us girls and we get along swell. I would say we are all pretty healthy and not fat by any means - but boy do we have a food thing here!

I'll admit it right now - I'm the ring leader. I love food. And I buy food without any realistic expectation of eating it all! I fear it borders on addiction. Look at our house right now...



UHHHH, that's too much food! Do you know that we have THREE huge jars of pickles in that fridge?



I try to announce each week what we aren't allowed to purchase. There is more popcorn and lasagna noodles and cheese than a grocery store. There is also a freeze on purchasing straws and onions and cereal and salad dressing. And I definitely put a ban on bringing any more ramen, macaroni and cheese, tea, or rice in here!




I'm a single person and I know spending $400 a month on groceries is outrageous! Packing the fridge takes every Tetris skill I have and it has got to stop! I think I need an intervention!