I'm famous! But totally not for what I want to be famous for!

Google Analytics doesn't lie. You guys are fucked up. Lately I've become a total stats junky and now I have proof that all four of you readers are sick. Sick sick sick sick SICK!

I looked up keywords and here are a few of my favorites. It's so sad that I know exactly what posts these refer to too!

fisting ((The Bloggess would be so proud! - not that she even knows I exist))
reverse anorexia in women
vegetarian shooting
what does heroin taste like?

Actually, these aren't that great, but I'm half assing it today because I have a lot of work to do! Plus, I have something to go to at 7pm and then a roomie dinner at 8:30 and tomorrow I'm getting my hair done and then the 'rents and I are heading out to Magic Mountain! I'm so excited!!!

PS - yesterday I ate another Chocodile. Here is proof that these things go straight to your hips :(

This is actually motivating. My roomies and I have a trip to Vegas planned and it's time to get serious and slim down so we can be Vegas ready! We've plastered our fridge with Victoria's Secret models and soon we're going to spend an afternoon weeping and beating our chests in lamentation and there will be much gnashing of teeth and dry heaves trying on bathing suits to prep for summer! I can't wait!

My life on the road - From the beginning!

(This is something I'm posting for a work RV Blog I just started... Thought's I'd share)

There have been plenty of good times in my life and as I sit here and reflect, there was always an RV involved somehow.

Even in the EARLY 80's we cruised around this country in swanky orange and brown fashion circa 1979 - in a 1979 Titan motorhome that is!

We fell in love with its dark brown booth dinette that folded into a bed (Which cushions - to my moms chagrin - we used to steal, put vinyl side down, and sled down the stairs with at our first home) and it's cumbersome roman shades and strange dutch-doored bathroom.

I can recall with surprising detail a rich history of friends, family, tradition, bonding, and overall happiness - all thanks to life on the road.

In the early 90's, my parents upgraded to a 1989 Winnebago Elandan 38' MHA. We left the rich browns and oranges of the 70's and soothed ourselves in the blues and pinks of the 80's. We caravaned with our friends, we boated on the Colorado river, we rode roller coasters at Six Flags, we rode our bikes through Lake Almanor until we couldn't even feel our legs anymore, and it was awesome. (Actually, note the picture below where I broke my leg on above said bike, but we were so dedicated to vacation we stayed...)

Life was an adventure all thanks to our motorhome!

There was no such thing as a slide-out in those days, which leaves me baffled as to how 2 parents, 3 teenagers (me, my brother, and sister) and 1 infant (15 years our junior, little brother) made it across this expansive country in essentially a giant hallway without killing each other! Actually, you know how we did it? My dad would gear up for the drive and our littlest brother would snack and nap, and we would do what you do in an RV- ANYTHING YOU WANTED TO!

We pretended we were surfing...
We played cards at the booth dinette...
We watched movies on the back bed (Yes, all 4 of us at once!)...
We listened to our CD players (This was before iPods!)...
We clamored at the window to take pictures of the buffalo blocking the road in Yellowstone...
We sang, we tried to get truckers to honk as they passed us, we ate more candy than should be legal, we microwaved and ate hundreds of chicken chimichangas from Costco... and we really truly LIVED...!

We stopped at strange things we saw along the road...
We read books and journaled our stops and compared the different pins and patches and stickers we had purchased...
We tasted crisp clean air as we took pictures of Lake Louise in Banff...
We giggled uncontrollably as we exchanged our allowances for Canadian money...
We ate the best ice cream EVER at an RV park in Montana...
We shopped until we literally dropped at the 4 story mall in Vancouver...
We plotted and planned our attack on Las Vegas and the Grand Canyon and Zion...

And I can't imagine my life if any one of those memories were missing.

Since then, my parents have upgraded to a 1999 Newmar Dutchstar with 1 slide! I'm 30 years old and you know what I enjoy? RVing... My older brother and sister have married and moved away, but that doesn't deter me one bit. Just recently, I called my mom and dad and little brother (Who is now taller than me!) and said "I want to go on an RV trip!" They eagerly obliged and just 2 months ago we set off over Thanksgiving vacation for Las Vegas! This time we brought the dogs and the adventure started again!



I read books, we watched movies, we had in motion satellite and internet, I worked on my laptop, and I realized that life is just SO SO good.

It's no mere coincidence I found my true calling in the RV industry. Thirteen years and three days later and I still get fulfillment and excitement from these homes away from home. If I could only explain to you, dear reader, that no matter what the cost or the maintenance or storage or the EXCUSES we tell ourselves - how WORTH IT RV ownership is, my life would be complete.

My past has always involved an RV and you can bet your bottom dollar my future plans involve one too! See you out there... on the road again...!

Can you see it?

Today I had the realization that I will never be good enough. I am wholly undeserving of the kindnesses given to me. I am beyond touched at others thoughtfulness. And no matter what I do, I don’t think I could truly convey my heartfelt appreciation for the GOOD people I have in my life.

Actually, I am undeserving because I’m not a very good daughter and I’m an even worse friend... I could spend 10 years trying to do something thoughtful and it would never be as nice as what my friends do for me. I let people call me, I don’t call them. All I do is work and I don’t bring much interesting stuff to the table. Maybe a sarcastic story or at least a distraction when I fall down, but in return I’m surrounded by the most stellar group of people I’ve ever met. My friends and family are pricelessly valuable and treasured by me.

The one person I haven’t figured out yet is my mother. I struggle EVERY day with my own contradictions, but now I can 100% tell you, those traits came from her! She’s confusing. I know she loves me, but I’m pretty much positive she hates me as equally with a white hot passion. Read back to Thanksgiving and I posted a picture of a dress I wanted, but they didn’t have my size. I showed up at her house a week ago and she had ordered that dress for me! I think I actually cried when I opened the box! That was SOO thoughtful. SOO nice. We made a lunch date out of it and we went and had it tailored. (I pick it up tomorrow!!!) We get along great at times. Last week we went and had pizza at a fancy new place that’s all organic and environmentally friendly. She buys me little prizes and tries to cater to my every whim. She’ll cook dinner if I’ve had a long day and I call her crying. She’s offered her home to me should I lose my job and need to move back in. She compliments my outfits... and I love SOO MANY things about her. She’s well read, she knows every episode of Judy Judy and Dr Phil. She’s funny and at times thinks I’m funny. We can talk about alternative medicines and NO ONE is a better green thumb. Ask her about any plant and she knows it. She has awesome decorating skills and if you want any help planning a party, she better be the 1st one you call! I love my mother, and despite the price I have paid for the love blood “should” bring unconditionally and for free, I’m so happy to have my family back, it makes me tear up just typing this.

Over Christmas we went to Magic Mountain and their generosity was again so undeserved. They even re-upped my season pass for me. However, in an RV, I don’t know if the 2 of us do so well living in essentially a big giant hallway. Now I can see that my mom does not like ME at all. I just sat there and I saw... I saw it so clearly - I will NEVER be good enough for her. NEVER. All my desperate need for approval stems from right here. She may compliment sometimes, but inside she critiques always. I see... I see it in her eyes. I am a dirty, sloppy, messy, manipulative, disease riddled, rigid, pagan, time wasting, disappointment to her - and that’s all there is to it.

I am 30 years old. Any of you who know me will know I am a fairly clean and organized person. I have a decent amount of common sense and many varied good qualities. Come to my home. My house is clean, even my drawers are organized. I shower and shave and brush my teeth EVERY day. Change my sheets and towels every week. My receipts are filed. I am a functional adult. Yesterday I took apart, cleaned, and put back together my entire refrigerator shelving system - just because... But that’s not good enough. Under her watchful eye, I was copiously reminded of my failings. I sleep in my own filth because I choose bathe in the morning and not before bed. I left my toothbrush on the counter, didn’t rinse a spoon IMMEDIATELY, decided to not wear socks even though it was cold outside. One time I walked through with my shoes on! Also, I basically set up a mobile brothel in the motorhome because I brought along the PG-13 Casino Royale movie to watch and my brother isn’t old enough (16) to watch that type of pornography. I even talk to the dogs wrong.

Once, I almost.. ALMOST.. set my backpack on a part of the bed where it may have touched her sheets. My god woman, I am not the enemy, I AM NOT a Philistine! I take too long to get ready. (No one gave me a time I had to be ready, you know. And last time I checked it was my vacation too... But apparently I almost ruined the trip because my brother wasn’t in line when the park gates opened. He could have gone without me, but he chose to wait. Yet after LITERALLY 10 comments about it {one involving a phone call from a friend in another state!} I was like - tell me how you really feel mom! She doesn’t even ride roller coasters, so I don’t even KNOW what that was about. When I got totally bent about it, then she tries to tell me to lighten up and that she was just kidding... UH NO... you don’t say something 100 times in a row and then get to claim it was a joke... NO. OK, moving on)

I cannot stand being controlled and micromanaged. It grates on me so badly and all my good qualities go flying out the window and I do become a bad person. I look back and I see the error of my ways... I lock up. I snip back. I roll my eyes. I judge. I get mean and dismissive. I see a side of me I don’t like come out.

Really, you see, all of this is about fear and hurt. I try to remind myself that she must be scared inside and that’s where her need to control comes from. That she put herself aside for so many years, now she’s just trying to reclaim some semblance of order for her. And she must have to be extra strong to do it with my dad and brother. They are both fast talking and strong willed, and I’m sure not the neatest or most tidy. In fact, they do need A LOT of direction when it comes to daily life... HOWEVER, that’s not me.

The worst part is... she doesn’t see. She doesn’t see the love and acceptance I have for her. That no matter what she says, NO MATTER WHAT she does, I still love her the same. I still come around to see her. I still want and need her in my life. Even though I know she can’t do that for me in return, I love her. I see the big picture, but I don’t know if she can see it. I see her efforts, her heart, her kindness, but does she see?

If she knows nothing else, hopefully she knows that I love her. I love her even though I disappoint her. I love her even though I hurt her. I love her even though I’m different than her. I love her even though I’m not good enough for her. I love her and NOTHING.. no statement, no injustice, no act of god, no religion, no divorce, no swear word, no amount of time, no announcement, NO NOTHING will change that.

I read this book “The Cult of Perfection” and it said some interesting things. It talked about friends and how “people like me” hold ourselves to this unattainable standard of perfection. We’re ALWAYS trying to be enough... yet, we wouldn’t dare hold anyone else to that same standard. And it SO true. I LOVE the uniqueness of my friends. I love them even more FOR their tragic flaws. Change them? NO WAY... That’s how I know they are true. When you can look at someone and know what their issues are and love them just the same, that’s how you know it’s real. Only thing that I ask is that you do the same for me. Show me that one kindness. That it’s ok to not be perfect and that you still accept me. That’s it’s okay to not be exactly the same. To understand, TO SEE, that everyone does things their own way, for their own reasons... and that’s o.k.

Always with the yen/yang. Always with the questions. Always with the contradiction. See...?

Monumental restraint

I'd like to start by saying that I'm a shopper. I've broke many a person at the mall. I met my match today. My mom showed me how it was done AND SHE'S handicapped at the moment. She had a hip replacement less than a year ago Because of some injuries from a car accident. 7 hours at the Fashion Show Mall here in Vegas on black friday no less and I am SPENT! and I didn't buy even ONE thing! That is monumental restraint right there! Although I did lust after this pair of sunglasses: (FYI - $500 is why I didn't buy them...)


I would have bought this dress and it was on sale, but they didn't have my size :(


However, sometimes, if you spend enough time at the mall, you make a discovery so splendid. So wonderful. So fascinating. You must share it with the world! Among other things, I'm also a shoe person. I don't even care if they are womens shoes. I love mens shoes too! But then I came across THIS:

Actually, you may enjoy the many many details here. In case you didn't know, yes, that's velcro! What's your fancy? GOLD? GOLD PLATING? LEOPARD PRINT? JEWELS? THESE HAVE IT ALL!!

I'm gonna let you in on a little secret. The wearer of these shoes is LOADED! And by loaded I mean either or. They are either HEAVILY sedated or high as a fucking kite... OR they have so more money than you will ever understand. When a little old lady comes into our dealership and she's got those gold sequined keds - she's ready to make a deal! And not on a cheap RV! hahahahahaha

Vegas is such a rare city. I can't even count how many times I've been here. Most people refer to it as Sin City and oh how I know it can be, but actually I haven't had a drink since we got here, we don't gamble, and we're all not really interested in the strip clubs... so what does that leave?

EVERYTHING! This place is so grand. There is everything from Picasso to Sharks! Ferrari's to Pirate Ships. Tigers to Volcano's. And EVERYTHING turns into a show. Whether its the marble statues that come to life or the cartoon on the bigscreen over the escalators that talks to you. Shoot, there was some crazy song and dance at the mall. This giant Christmas Tree raised up into the air and santa and all his slight slutty helpers came tumbling and singing out from underneath it! LOL

Here's my brother and I today :)


OHHH, and don't forget the food!!! The glorious food! I pretty much lost my mind yesterday. And I've eaten here many times, but the Buffet at the Treasure Island is SO GOOD! I'd like to start by telling you, I'm not a dessert person. Blasphemy, yes I know, but give me some chips or crackers or french fries. I'm a salty savory carb girl hands down. If you know me, you know this. HOWEVER, notice I was SO moved, I actually took multiple pictures with my dessert!


They had a fucking cotton candy machine!!!! Yeah... that's right, you read correctly. It was phenomenal!



Well, that's my post. Hope your weekend is going great! Talk to ya soon!

Life is good

So, this is probably going to bore the few that read this, but I write for me not you, so it's ok.

It's thanksgiving day. I'm in my parents rv and we're cruising into vegas as I type this. I'm gonna do the typical 'I'm thankful' post cuz life really can be good :)

I have ALWAYS loved RV's. My parents had one all my life and we've travelled the country, stopping at neat places we came across, resting when needed, eating home cooked food, using our own bathroom. Harmar is just crusing next to me on the couch. It is truly a lifestyle I believe in. Hands down I will own an rv someday.

For work I travel a lot. Funny part is we sell the rv's- we don't use them. So I've been to every airport and hotel and rental car place in America. The lines the delays the smoke smell and the expense- it's NOT even close to recommended!

I'm the type of person who needs to LIVE what I do though, so it makes sense. It often means I'm extreme, but I want to be excited and happy and fully enveloped by whatever I'm doing. I'm passionate about food and clothes and computers (stop and recognize I'm posting this from my iPhone which is THE coolest thing ever!) and YES everything RV related. Who wouldn't love sipping on a cocktail, surfing the web, sitting next to ur dog, and cruising towards vegas? And if u stop to appreciate it, get excited about it (whatever 'it' might be) then u can say u LIVED it, u felt it, u experienced it!

We stopped at stateline and went to the outlets. I got some cute shoes. Closed toed flats !GASP! That's never happened before- I'm slightly addicted to open toed high heels. My friend John seems to think I have aspirations of becoming a stripper. Ha! Hardly.

Anyways, as a side note, we were going to stop in Bakersfield last night but it seems they've closed every rest stop in California for repairs. Yeah, that's a good idea on the busiest travel day of the year. And u know cal trans works on thanksgiving day. Uh NOT- LAME! My poor dad wound up driving until 4am to find a Valero gas station we could sleep in.

We also had a 30 minute taco bell experience which left me giggling. I just try not to get too worked up and was THANKFUL I wasn't with one of my many friends who would have blown a gasket. Apparently, I stereotyped the Spanish speaking fellow at the taco bell counter to understand what a taco was. I also assumed that this particular item might be a popular enough seller that it would be easily found on his register. See what happens when u stereotype others and make assumptions? Also, I'm a pretty wordy person but I underestimated the complicated differences between the crunchy taco and the hard taco. I did not know taco bell only serves hard tacos or soft tacos. Ordering a crunchy taco (which is how it is on the menu board btw) is a special order that requires manager approval. Good times right there.

Anyways, we're just getting settled at the rv resort so I'm gonna go. Have a great thanksgiving!

Sent from my iPhone

Georgia Peach...

More like Georgia deep fried turkey. These people haven't seen a vegetable or fresh piece of fruit EVER! I know it seems like I'm harping on food all the time, but it certainly is different over here.

Seems the coleslaw here in Georgia is much better than I remember it being in North Carolina. But every vegetable that's come my way has been cooked with a ham hock, laced with beef, or soaked in broth of some sort. Yesterday, I shed a small tear when they offered pasta salad and some green beans. Today was macaroni and cheese and green beans. I was very happy today too. I over ate! I'm sure I've gained 5 lbs. I'm probably at 4,000 calories a day.

Also, it must have been quite some time since I've had big red gum. Did they add some sort of cayenne pepper to it OR WHAT? I'll never buy it again. I bought multipack for all the guys and took a piece and my tongue BURNS. sometimes you just need gum though, so now i'm forced to keep trying this over and over. It's like fire! So then i look at the package and it has a little FLAME on it! Do people really like cinnamon to be that strong?

I wish other people could share my fascination with RV's with me. I'm in AWE of every detail. From the community, to the money, to the business side of it (Sales, salespeople, finance) to the decor/design/advertising, and industry. Do you have any idea how many MILLIONS of dollars I'm sitting here looking out at? Most of you have stopped reading this by now. That's too bad because I was just going to tell you how amazing it is to see these MASSIVE machines drive around. The spaces they fit them in is AMAZING to me.

I miss my yoga classes. It's just impossible to do anything here. I especially hesitate to bend and stretch and breath with all these guys around here. So cut out all exercise and add triple the unheatlhy food - it's not a good combo. My stomach isn't feeling so well right now. I'm starting to suspect those delicious green beans were cooked in chicken broth. They were so salty and good. SIGH.

This is starting to be a really long post isn't it?

Well, I guess I'll wrap it up for now and try to do some work. Or maybe I'll attempt to find a way to keep myself awake since my boss and I went on a grand adventure looking for something cool to do and didn't get back until after 2am! And that left me with only 4 hours sleep!

Cheezits & Mt Dew

Who’s with me here? What’s your favorite indulgence? I think I could LIVE on Cheezits and Mt Dew. I’d die at 35, but OMG I would enjoy every snacking moment!!! My 2nd favorite is Cherry Coke and some sort of chocolate. Like those chocolate donettes. Or a Mr Goodbar. Something like that. MMMM MMMM

Anyways, I’m only obsessing on that stuff because I’m trying to be good here. And my boss isn’t making it easy for me. He and I both LOVE soda. And as an attempt to make each other feel less guilty about drinking it, we will buy each other a soda so we don’t have to drink it alone. We both leave on Sunday for Georgia, we just went live with a new computer system, etc etc. Things are busy. So he comes in today with a soda and I was like - YOU HAVE TO STOP THIS... It’s a SICKNESS! And he was like “We’re going out of town anyways, this week is shot, just drink it! Ok, I’m drinking it. UNDER DISTRESS! Yeah right. LOL. He’s too nice to me.

Although, after all this yoga (etc) I am noticing my body looks different. I haven’t really lost any weight (maybe 3 - 4 lbs) but I just feel BUFF! I mean, I have some serious muscles going on in my arms and my legs. Even my stomach. It’s not that there’s any less of me, but it is definitely moving around somehow. I LIKE IT! I feel really good about myself :) I know it’s kinda cheesy to most of you with the hug yourself, love yourself yoga thing, but I don’t care what you all say now. I’m happy, I’m like myself, and I’m starting to get majorly healthy.

So I’m starting to get excited about my trip to Georgia. Don’t ask me why. Macon, GA isn’t exactly a cool place. Although I did just find out that on our way back home we are going to be spending the night in Atlanta for St Patricks day. Yup Yup, me and the PERV crew drinking in the ATL. LOL! Am I gangsta or what? 1 bad part tho is that we fly out at the ungodly hour of 6am. Think that’s bad enough? Well, apparently the time changes that morning so we lose an ADDITIONAL hour. That means by the end of Sunday I’ll have lost essentially FOUR HOURS. sigh. Not everything can be perfect right?

OH!! and for any of you interested, we’re doing some awesome stuff for the make a wish foundation here at my work. I’m on the committee. If any of you like Gold Canyon Candles, let me know! We are selling them to raise money (Over 50% of the proceeds go towards our goal!) Also, we are having a huge company sponsored yard sale at the beginning of April. If you have old clothes or toys or furniture or ANYTHING you just want gone - let me know. You will get a receipt from Make-a-Wish for a tax write off and then we will sell the stuff at the yard sale. The little girl we are sponsoring is named Ashley. She’s 6 and has kidney tumors that keep her isolated in the house and on chemotherapy. Her wish is to go to Disneyland with her family in May.

Ok folks - that’s it for me. I gotta get back to work. Have a good one!