A good cornhole game, I guarantee you'll enjoy it!

So I said I'd post something that amused me.

Salespeople often send out followup letters to their customer base. I'm sure you've gotten them if you've ever bought a car, etc. Anyways, I was given some letters the business had received to see if any of the wording used was good for us to incorporate into our own company followup letters.

I'm innocently reading along and BAM, I discover this gem...

I just keep reading it and re-reading it, and it gets funnier EVERY time. Brilliant! Just brilliant!

Of course, someone spoiled all the fun and informed me that a game of cornhole is a bean bag toss. I was WAAAAY off! LOL

Hope this got you to chuckle! Happy Monday!

What are you reading?

An interesting subject was brought up on The Beehive about reading. My mom and I have always been AVID readers, but it seems in the last few years I don't know anyone who's reading anything. (I'm talking actual books here. Not blogs or online stuff or magazines which I read as well) I found this a little disheartening. However, hearing all these people's book choices was super cool!

I'm currently reading "Eating Animals" and I wonder if people rolls their eyes when I tell them that?

I did see one guy reading a book about George Washington and this was like the strangest thing ever. I totally judged him.  Ha Ha.

I never read romance novels or history topics so I began wondering what my mini book collection says about me. Here's some of my favorites that I keep in the nightstand next to my bed.  Sorta runs the gamut doesn't it?

I don't know what it means.

So how old does this make me? 50? 60?

I received an iTunes gift card for Christmas. I get them from time to time and I just keep the credits online so I can buy what I want (music/iPhone apps/etc) whenever the mood hits me. (Anything Apple or for the kitchen is a surefire way to win my heart BTW)

So what hits me yesterday? MUSIC - I want a new CD. And what do I wind up buying? The Best of Sade, of course. I guess she has a new album coming out and I can't wait for that, but OMG I AM MY MOTHER!!  She was always rockin' Sade. That and DeBarge. Enough for me to exclaim when I was 5 that I HATED music and that I would NEVER own a radio! (Pretty sure my mom played RECORDS!!! and there was no such thing as a CD yet so radio was where it was at maaan... HA HA)

I'm LOVING listening to my new CD now, but there's a little voice inside telling me this is, in fact, the final sign of the times. Forget all those earthquakes in one place after another - god is speaking to us all. Be forewarned!

Oh yeah, and I made and ate a really good sandwich the other day. MMMM

Look, Listen, Learn...

I haven't done a product or place review in a while... So here it goes!

LOOK!

This weekend I took a trip to We Olive in the Fig Garden Village. I just love that place because it has every little thing that I want to taste and cook with and snack on! Besides a bevy of different olive oils, there are dipping oils, spreads, and home marinated olives. Go there, it's heaven.

LISTEN!
 

WHOA - sorry, that may be a bit of a shock from the We Olive thing, huh? Sorry. If you didn't know, I listen to a pretty wide variety of music. The above picture is of Har Mar Superstar doing his "thang" up on stage. I've seen him twice in concert and this shocking display definitely caught my attention. He's sort of a strange unattractive man that has such confidence, such swagger that all the ladies throw themselves at him. Yeah, even I have a bit of a crush on him. Enough that I named my puppy after him. Hey, who's more of a lady killer than him??

ANYWAYS - I just found out that HarMar Superstar just put out a new album - which I immediately bought on iTunes and it hasn't left my CD player YET! Watch the video if you dare:


LEARN:
Seems like everyone I know has been sick lately *knock on wood* and my plan for health involves MASS amounts of Vitamin C and a revolutionary cureall drink. Walk into the light with me and let's all start drinking KAMBUCHA!!!!!!

I think drinking this is a bit of a cult thing, but count me in as a BELIEVER. When I bought the first bottle, the cashier made a special call to someone who took me into a back room and explained to me all it's magical powers. I've heard everything from it can break a 104 fever to cure cancer. It's sort of fermented and kinda tastes like vinegar, but this isn't helping sell you on it, is it?! OMG! Just try the grape flavored one and let me know what you think! I have like 1/2 a cup a day and I get a burst of energy and feel great and I'm still healthy. RAWK!

OK FOLKS... I'm out. Catch ya later!

What I've been up to... And FREE PORN!

Hey everyone...

MISS ME? I've been busy supporting our economy! In the world of shopping, NO ONE can hang with me in a shopping marathon. Oh, you think you can? We'll talk when hour 6 rolls around... They ALL talk the talk, but no one has ever walked the walk.

Well, with the exception of MY MOTHER - that women will BREAK YOU! She's got a handicap placard and she knows how to use it! She also knows how to use her children as pack mules to haul the scrap metal or whatever she purchased that one time that weighed like 200 lbs back to the car. HA HA, just kidding mom, I LOVE YOU! Well, that was a true story, so not really kidding...

A N Y W A Y S... Move along, nothing to see here !!!

I don't have enough time to put on a fashion show for you, but I got a little be of everything. Jackets, closed toed shoes, a shrug, shirts, jewelry... Gotta prep for winter, ya know?! However, every shopping trip produces something SO EXCITING, I get worked up just THINKING about it. Feast your eyes on my new lady friend. Yeah, I pretty much went lesbian just for her and her hot sister.

Yes, I know this is disturbing. I'm sorry. I LOVE SHOES! and Guess shoes, particularly those by Marciano are starting to multiply in my closet. Sometimes I just sit on the floor in my closet and look at all my little pretties. Is that weird? WHAT? WHY?!?! It makes me so happy though!

Wanna see what totally turns me on? Here's some FREE PORN for you. Go ahead, it's work safe... What? Don't you trust me? Just click it! C'MON!!

Speaking of fashion - it's a lot of work to even look semi put together! I think that's about the time some people just wave the white flag. They surrender. They. dont. care. This concept is foreign to me from every vantage point. On that note, I give to you the worst dressed man of the week.

Alright, enough of that nonsense... Don't you want to hear about other thing's that I think are cool that actually make me uncool?  LOOK AT THE LITTLE BASIL BABIES in my Aerogarden! They're growing up so fast... Why just a couple weeks ago I remember...

Okay, well, shoes, porn, and basil is about as wide a range of topics as I'm willing to cover today. I'm gonna call it a night now! G'night everyone!

Dilbert gets me every time...

If you've had the pleasure of asking me computer questions, I'm pretty sure I've said something along the lines of: "Quit being afraid of it..." "Just push some buttons" "You can't break it anymore than it already is so why not just try something" "Don't even read it, just say OK OK OK"

And then I read this:

A HA HA HA - So my mom thought this was hilarious! In my defense, there's some sort of abnormal force around her house causing her computers to do things that hardly EVER happen.

Thought you could use a laugh. Happy Monday.

This is sudden, but I'm coming out of the closet...

I've consistently had my nerd credentials revoked for random things, but I feel comfortable asking for them back now. While there may have been some sort of *other* inference in my title, what I'm really coming out of the closet to admit is:

I
LOVE
STAR
TREK
!!!!

I love it and I don't care what anyone thinks. No, I never went to any conventions, I don't speak Klingon, and... Okay, that was it... I did everything else. I read the books, I had all the scripts to the shows, and I loved EVERYTHING about it!!

I was more of a Next Generation person, (never really watched the original...)

but the new movie TOTALLY represented!

I keep feeling the urge to admit further embarrassing things to you guys, but maybe I better just sit this one out. I already lived through a year of high school hazing wearing my communicator pin, so... ummmm... we're gonna keep this "reveal" to a bare minimum!

Have a great night and when you get up tomorrow, go see the new Star Trek movie. Even if you don't like Star Trek or don't know the story line, you will love it, I PROMISE!

PS - I saw it in the IMAX. It was like a little girls first trip to Disneyland. Larger than life FTW!

Cool Nerd - OH YEAH

Sometimes thoughts just come to me & I scribble them down & then nothing happens - like this tidbit I apparently wrote 3 weeks ago, but don’t even remember. I believe there is a missing segue somewhere in there between nerds/technology and growing a garden to make it through armageddon. (WTF?) I chuckled - it’s the last paragraph that got me! SO RANDOM!
------------------------------------------------------

Things I do that make me a nerd:

1) Point out all Apple products whenever I see one.
2) Get really upset when TV shows use the “COOL” looking Macs, but block the Apple or portray that a Dell runs the better looking OS X. #FAIL
3) Use the word #FAIL
4) Reference all of my information sources as coming from the internet. “I heard Michelle is in Disneyland” means I saw her MySpace status told me that. Haven’t actually talked to Michelle! Or “People have been saying there’s a new sports bar downtown” means I saw on someones Twitter stream about it. I haven’t talked to anyone or seen the news or read the newspaper in years.
5) Use the internet or my iPhone to check facts or spelling or history in the middle of a debate. Especially if this debate is not happening face to face (Although I usually fess up that I cheated after being declared the winner... USUALLY...)

Here’s my point... Why do we always insist on doing everything the hard way when technology is here to help you? Seriously?

Old school clocks, math, and stick shift cars are taking the blunt of my wrath right now.

Its not like I am inept. I could grow a garden too, but seems a bit easier to go to the grocery store than be out back sweating and harvesting the land. Armageddon is already coming, I’ll rest up until then, thank you!

After a while Chocodile...

Ha Ha! Remember that saying? See ya later Alligator?! I'm amused by dumb stuff. It's okay, I'm happy and that's all that matters, right? RIGHT!?

And then people say, remember Marisa when this wasn't a blog dedicated to you and your love of snack food? I'm scratching me head here... You mean, you guys want those long droning on self-discovery sad posts? Oh ok, good, cuz boy do I have one brewing for you! I just have to find the right words for it!

ANYWAYS, it's not time yet. I wrote my Ode to the Chocodile post a couple days ago and realized I have more pictures with my beloved snack than I've let on. Figure I better settle up before I mosey on with my bid'ness...

This one was on a road trip :)

And here was a random one - mmmm

Well, before you all think I'm a total weirdo... here's a picture of our valley sky. This is why I always try to carry my camera with me.

Okay, I'm a liar... there's totally more Chocodile pictures! I don't just take one picture you know. A good picture requires an entire photo shoot! LOL Here's a few that didn't make the cut from last weeks HauteChocoCouture post!




Yeah, add me to your google reader RIGHT NOW. I guarantee this type of quality entertainment every time!

HauteChocoCouture

Okay, so I've become obsessed with Chocodiles. MMM You might find this odd because I don't like pastries, never crave cake, and have always hated twinkies. I also find this odd, but I'm learning to not question my reasonings as much. They don't make sense to anyone else, so why should I worry about it?

Anyways, I'm thinking of starring in a Chocodile documentary. Ok, no, that was a lie... and also seems like a lot of work. How about I just take a picture with my Chocodile every time I buy one? It can be like a cool coffee table book or something.

I'm thinking cover of Vogue... That's Haute Choco Couture right there... You haven't heard of it? You're SOO behind the times. It's all the rage now.

Blue Steel!

What does this say about me?

It's a collection of my most commonly used words from my blog feed. HA!

You can get your own by clicking HERE!

Yes, my pretties, GROW...

:)SO, I have one of those AeroGarden things. I got it for my birthday 2 years ago and I LOVE IT! I've decided I don't use it often enough though...

These are tomatoes after only like 2 weeks!


Totally cool! Did I mention I love this thing? All you do is add water and it turns its grow light on and off, tells you when to add a "nutrient pill", and grows WICKED FAST!

I totally want the "Salsa Garden" one. It will grow everything you need to make salsa. UMMM, who loves chips and salsa more than me?

NO ONE - that's who!

They also release a "Strawberry" one in the spring.

www.dictionary.com

Right next to google, my favorite website is www.dictionary.com! I get SOO into words. I have this whole emotional reaction to reading, to listening to people talk - something almost sensual. The way they roll off your tongue. The delicate differences in meaning - the synonyms! You can read about my discovery of this and it’s relationship to men “HERE”

Actually, I’m not that smart and I would IN NO WAY classify myself as a writer. I have ZERO skills compared to the fellow bloggers I follow and I know and openly admit this. I’m probably just a really talkative person who led a sheltered childhood, spent my days and night reading, and grew up to be “a bit wordy”... But whatever!

One of my favorite books is The Feast of Love by Charles Baxter. I know there was a movie about it. Don’t even bother watching the movie. It’s horrible and lame, jumps around, and hardly builds the true depth of the characters, and skips all the details that make the story really stick... Please, just read the book. So I hop onto half.com to buy a copy for a friend who I think would enjoy it and wind up on amazon reading about the other books Charles Baxter has written - which I have not read and now want to.

One of the critiques used a word I had never heard before. I mean, it’s obvious what the root of the word is, but I was intrigued.

li⋅bid⋅i⋅nous
   /lɪˈbɪdnəs/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [li-bid-n-uhs]
–adjective
1.         full of sexual lust; lustful; lewd; lascivious.
2.         of, pertaining to, or characteristic of the libido.

WHAT A WORD!

How’d you like your definition to be “Lewd & Lascivious” ? Ha ha - that made me laugh out loud. Then I hop over to thesaurus.com because I feel like admitting to the world what a giant geek I am. I’m the lame kid that sits at home and memorizes the dictionary. OH GOD. Did I not just write “THIS” about also eating mayonnaise from the jar? And we all know that kid. Lord, save me now!

OK, back on track...

So thesaurus.com says this:

Main Entry:         libidinous
Part of Speech:         adjective
Definition:         lustful
Synonyms:         carnal, coarse, concupiscent, debauched, fast, hot*, impure, incontinent, lascivious, lecherous, libertine, loose*, obscene, passionate, prurient, salacious, satyric, sensual, unchaste, wanton, wicked

My favorite of those is SALACIOUS... I just want to say that word all the time. It’s a slippery word... actually, almost chewy... Does that make any sense?

So back to dictionary.com

sa⋅la⋅cious
   /səˈleɪʃəs/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [suh-ley-shuhs] Show IPA Pronunciation
–adjective
1.         lustful or lecherous.

Now I’m thinking LECHEROUS... These words are gathering a more and more negative connotation, but I’m loving saying them to myself.

So that was my 10 minute break at work. You didn’t think I could take a sensual love of words and a pretty darn raunchy sexual word and turn it into a window into Nerd-dom did you? HA HA

Turn Ons...

I’m always fascinated by nuance... and the differences that make each of us who we are. Ok, that’s not really what I was going to write about, I think this blog is going to go a couple different places.

One thing I was thinking about is the type of men that I draw to me. I think any of you that know my history know that there is absolutely NO similarities between the major relationships in my life. From black to white, tall to short, skinny to muscular, creative to by the book, realists to dreamers - I magically managed to find exact opposites. And the joke is, that besides being indeed male, they are all polar opposites. (I would assume most people would only consider there to be 2 opposites of any given thing, so maybe it’s more like a triangle or something... I don’t know!)

ANYWAYS... I figured out the similarity!!! Besides a wicked sense of sarcasm and humor, they were all brilliant! IQ’s off the charts (each in their own way very intimidating to me...) From one who wanted to sit at home and fiddle with magnets and build and create things and read Mensa books just for time killing fun, to another who had mastery over the computer in a methodical calculating mathematical programming way that would really bend your brain (and I use computers okay people? THIS shit was above complicated) to another one who totally gets off on light and space and time and geography and the universe, to math and fact and figures... They were all mentally sharp, voracious readers, eloquent, well spoken men. WOW!

Know what’s odd? They all had what I would consider to be almost identical handwriting! LOL (Strange fact, I know - had to share)

So why am I writing this blog? Because I discovered something about myself that my roommates are now making fun of me for. Know what turns me on? A man that reads. A man that can spell! A man that didn’t have to dictionary.com the word voracious I used 2 paragraphs up... A man that WRITES! I find myself having a quite magical experience when I read a properly formed sentence. I get off on proper punctuation! Paragraphs! Capitalization! (Now this isn’t so that you can re-read all of my writings for typo’s and misspellings and probably a few too many exclamation points and ...dot dot dots... but I do write like I talk - HEY wait a minute - this isn’t about me okay!?)

So, how lame do you think I am now?

HAVE YOU EVER GOTTEN AN EMAIL IN ALL CAPITALS THAT JUST MAKES YOU WANT TO PULL YOUR HAIR OUT!? or what about the guy who just says yo wassup mama do you wanna go come see myb crib laters in his ghetto slang where you have to try and figure out what the hell he is even talking about or the one who just keeps writing and writing and writing and never spaces or stops or hits the return key ever and doesn’t use a period to break up the sentences and never spell checks and you throw up a little in your mouth imagining what it must be like to talk to this guy in person once let alone for the rest of your life

YEAH, THAT IS WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT! I can’t handle it!

So anyways, I had to share! I took quite the ribbing a couple days ago from Melt and Beck about how abnormal this new discovery is. I don’t care what you all say though - it’s my fetish and I like it!

Georgia Peach...

More like Georgia deep fried turkey. These people haven't seen a vegetable or fresh piece of fruit EVER! I know it seems like I'm harping on food all the time, but it certainly is different over here.

Seems the coleslaw here in Georgia is much better than I remember it being in North Carolina. But every vegetable that's come my way has been cooked with a ham hock, laced with beef, or soaked in broth of some sort. Yesterday, I shed a small tear when they offered pasta salad and some green beans. Today was macaroni and cheese and green beans. I was very happy today too. I over ate! I'm sure I've gained 5 lbs. I'm probably at 4,000 calories a day.

Also, it must have been quite some time since I've had big red gum. Did they add some sort of cayenne pepper to it OR WHAT? I'll never buy it again. I bought multipack for all the guys and took a piece and my tongue BURNS. sometimes you just need gum though, so now i'm forced to keep trying this over and over. It's like fire! So then i look at the package and it has a little FLAME on it! Do people really like cinnamon to be that strong?

I wish other people could share my fascination with RV's with me. I'm in AWE of every detail. From the community, to the money, to the business side of it (Sales, salespeople, finance) to the decor/design/advertising, and industry. Do you have any idea how many MILLIONS of dollars I'm sitting here looking out at? Most of you have stopped reading this by now. That's too bad because I was just going to tell you how amazing it is to see these MASSIVE machines drive around. The spaces they fit them in is AMAZING to me.

I miss my yoga classes. It's just impossible to do anything here. I especially hesitate to bend and stretch and breath with all these guys around here. So cut out all exercise and add triple the unheatlhy food - it's not a good combo. My stomach isn't feeling so well right now. I'm starting to suspect those delicious green beans were cooked in chicken broth. They were so salty and good. SIGH.

This is starting to be a really long post isn't it?

Well, I guess I'll wrap it up for now and try to do some work. Or maybe I'll attempt to find a way to keep myself awake since my boss and I went on a grand adventure looking for something cool to do and didn't get back until after 2am! And that left me with only 4 hours sleep!