Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Oh really?

For those of you who don't know, I'm a bit of a nature freak. I take more pride than I can explain to you in coming home from multiple stores and having nothing to throw away! I bring canvas bags with me and even mesh bags for my vegetables. I HATE waste and actually have intense energy directed at baggers and cashiers who can't figure out how to do it right.

Actually, I just had a gathering at my house last weekend and everyone kept asking me for paper plates and cups so they didn't dirty any dishes. OMG, PLEASE DIRTY A DISH rather than throw something away. I forced everyone to use real stuff. 5 minutes of extra work is nothing, geez!

Also, Fresno has been really big on their "Buy Local" campaign. I agree with this. I like feeling like I'm a part of something and doing something good. Plus, here in Fresno, the fruit basket of the world, buying vegetables and fruit from local farms is diverse, affordable, and awesome! When I saw this sign at Vons I was so happy since I needed squash anyways:

HOWEVER, upon further inspection, I think someone needs a geography lesson. Either that or it's A LOT smaller world than I originally imagined:


Monday, July 20, 2009

Tips to help civilize the general public...

Yeah, some of you are in dire straights. I mean, I think you all know I could wax poetic bitch and moan for hours on end about how you all are fucking up the minute details of my serenity.

Let me just give you the smallest of pointers. Your roommates/parents/spouse/house cleaner can thank me later.

Kitchen Sink Rules
1) PLEASE, do NOT fill both basins with your garbage. For the love of god, leave the garbage disposal side empty so the one's of us who want to use the sink still have a free and clear side to work with.

2) PLEASE, rinse out or rinse off your plate/bowl before you walk away. I could go on an on about how ridiculous it is that you feel entitled to just leave your stuff for someone else to clean up in the first place, but should you feel completely comfortable burdening the others in your work place or household with your laziness and refuse - AT LEAST have the decency to rinse. Dropping your napkin in your half eaten bowl of minestrone and splashing some water on it for good measure is about the most disrespectful offensive load of bullshit I've ever seen. YOU DIDN'T WANT TO WASH IT IN THE FIRST PLACE, but now I have to put my hands in your last digestive "experience" to clean up your mess.


Sunday, July 19, 2009

Low brow and above the bar...

So I was girly'ing it up last weekend and decided to go to the mall. I had some MAC makeup to recycle and needed a couple things.

On my way through the make-up section, I was stopped by a carni lovely lady who asked if I knew that Benefit makeup now had a eyebrow and lip waxing station... They call it the Benefit bar. No, Jolena, I did NOT know that! So, being that it was my birthday week, I thought, WHY NOT!?

There are varying prices, but pros would be:

• No appointments necessary
• Brow and Lip wax was $27 but that also includes retouching of your makeup
• Quick, professional, and painless

I'm sold. Plus, I wound up buying several of their products and I absolutely love Benefit makeup now. I've always only used Mac makeup, but that stuff has a bit too much the whore flair, so Benefit is awesome because it's got a really light natural feel to it which is more my style.

Hopefully, you will take a chance and give it a try. I give the whole experience two thumbs up.

Saturday, July 18, 2009

My will to live is gone...

Yeah. That's pretty much what 3 hours of computer repair will do to you. And I use the word "REPAIR" lightly being as I didn't fix a god damn thing!

My parents are the type of technological people that have their fans and lights and waterfalls hooked up to an intricately wired remote control system yet still use disposable cameras because they don't quite trust what that digital thing is gonna do. Where's the printouts? Sigh.

Long story short I go over there and I use the wireless and everyone is happy. One day, wireless stops working. Tech support tells my mom to buy a new router. I enter the picture tonight to install new router. I've called everyone. I spent 30 minutes talking to AT&T about their connection and over an hour talking to the Netgear people. Same problem as before. You can plug in and connect just fine, but no wireless. As usual - everyone I spoke to blames Apple. SIGH!

Oh wait, what's that? I'm typing this blog, wirelessly from MY house right now? OH and I was on the wireless at work all day today? Yeah, it's my computer that doesn't know how to connect to a network.

Oh, if I pay $99 to extend the warranty on the thing I JUST TOOK OUT OF THE BOX.. TTTTHHHEEEENNNNN you'll be able to fix my problem?

OMG. I'm so frizzle frazzled!! Plus, I actually think I have some decent computer skillz... so for me to be in this position with NO idea how to fix it is making me insane. Time for bed. UGHH!

Sunday, July 12, 2009

*Cute Puppy Alert*

Well, I think you all know I'm partial to HarMar the greatest cutest *ALL MAN* Yorkie of all kind.

However, in lieu of telling you a long story, my parents had a little scotty dog at their house yesterday. He was VISCIOUS! ALL TEETH! Look at this creature from the deep!

Oh wait, he's just all mouth and I caught him mid yawn.

Just had to share.

Friday, July 10, 2009

Pecking order of death (UPDATE: MORE PICTURES)

So there are city girls and there are country girls. I'd like to think I'm a decent mix of both. I was raised a country girl riding horses, catching lizards, and climbing trees among other things, but I absolutely love reality TV, manicures, and using any excuse to buy a new *anything*...

I'm terrified of snakes and spiders, but I'm okay with squirrels and june bugs and rats - go figure!



There are 7 families of geese at this place I go to every day. Here is a video of 2 families.
(Taken from the safety of my car)

Yes, they may not seem that scary just waddling their fat happy asses across the road, but what if you were forced to WALK by them? OH. MY. GOD.

1st of all - did you know that these midieval red eyed devils will hiss at you like a viper? Oh you did know that? Well, screw you because I did not know that and 911 had to take the paddles to me because it scared me to death!
2nd of all - I offer you the below picture that, for the sake of this blog, I risked my life to take!

Do you see the sniper goose at the top? I recommend you zoom in on this picture. I have highlighted with green arrow the two Carl Lewis' of the group, beaks agape, feet in FULL run towards me.

I had video of this encounter, but I deleted it too soon. I had accidentally hit the button twice, so when I thought I stopped it, I actually started it. All you hear is me say AAAAAHHHHH and then the camera drops down and videos my feet run away. Only now that it's gone do I realize how funny it was. DANG IT!

Do you see how they are EVERYWHERE I go? SO MANY!

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

12:34.56 7/8/9

Yeah, today's a pretty friggin' awesome day! Mostly because it's my birf'day, but I'm not making a big deal about it. I just have an undeniable need to share with you every little detail of my life!

I've been working so much and been SO busy that I haven't posted in a week. SORRY!

I started my day by going to work only to be greeted with balloons and red bull and happy birthday signs and chocodiles. SO MANY CHOCODILES!! Although I'm 31 29 and will be forever... YES 29 FOREVER... they may have added a couple of extra and then spelled out my name with 31 of them.

I don't know about you, but I think that is just about the coolest thing ever!

Thursday, July 2, 2009

Violence Unsilenced

I don't know if it's incredibly scary or really really brave, but I did something out of character.

I took a subject which (until the end of the year) I had never spoken about and not only published it on my blog, but submitted it to Violence Unsilenced. This was months ago though and I had completely forgotten about it until yesterday when I received an email saying it was my turn to have my story featured. You can go there and read it if you want to.

This all started after I had some very intense and surprising internal reactions to writing this post. Not because I was in denial about it, but because writing it all down at one time, in one place, made it so plain to see that it was something serious. All these years I had brushed it off as not being anything to worry about. Perhaps the individual memories weren't noteworthy, but together they had weight... they were heavy... and WHILE SCARY or possibly really really brave, saying something was the turning point for me!

Blogging and putting yourself out there in a public forum is difficult. You run the risk of people misinterpreting what you say... Of people who don't know you (and actually people who DO know you) judging you... This is my worst fear and yet strangely blogging/writing is SO SO cathartic for me. I take all these heavy thoughts and burdens and I release them to the universe. Plus, for me, I find my biggest motivation in life is to connect and share with others. I probably go about it a bit passive aggressive by blogging, being all quasi anonymous and all... but oh well.

I know what my intention is. I try SO very hard to be the best I can be. To be kind. To be thoughtful. To know I DON'T KNOW the fully story of those that I encounter. To treat others how I want to be treated. Ultimately you can't please everyone, but I keep putting it out there anyways. Sometimes you just gotta take a chance, ya know?

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