For the girl who has everything...

Yeah, that's not true. I don't have much actually. People say it's hard to buy for me because I'm so specific. Most of my friends just ask me for a list. How do they know I LOVE making lists and keep a running one of "things to buy" ??? HA HA

Actually, I was just thinking about my last post where I said iTunes gift cards and kitchen goodies are a surefire win.  (I think "SureFire" is my word of the week - I've used it like 20 times now... ha!)

However, you know what I love? As in LOVE LOVE? PENS! I may have a slight thing about gel pens, specifically with glitter in them, but that's sort of a "me" thing. These are similar to the ones I buy and use at work to everyone's chagrin:

You know what though? I've never received a pen as a gift that I can recall. :( I think now I'm ready for a real pen. An expensive pen. A NICE PEN. My friend has this Paul Smith roller ball pen. It's like the best pen ever.

I WANT A COOL NICE EXPENSIVE KEEPER PEN!

I think I want a divorce - No No, It's not you, it's me.

Yeah, I'm ready to file papers with you, Borders. I love you, but I'm just not IN love with you. Every time I visit I leave empty handed. You never have what I'm looking for.  I can never find a person to help me and usually have to use the self help computer, but it's not so helpful.

You are more conveniently located, I have coupons and your free rewards card, and I like the way your store is laid out, but I've found someone better.

Barnes & Noble just knows how to treat a lady. I go to the counter and they answer me immediately and even go get my books and bring them back to me. Thank you B&N as I am now a happy and satisfied customer and the excited owner of my new book, Eating Animals.

I can't wait to read this.

What I've been up to... And FREE PORN!

Hey everyone...

MISS ME? I've been busy supporting our economy! In the world of shopping, NO ONE can hang with me in a shopping marathon. Oh, you think you can? We'll talk when hour 6 rolls around... They ALL talk the talk, but no one has ever walked the walk.

Well, with the exception of MY MOTHER - that women will BREAK YOU! She's got a handicap placard and she knows how to use it! She also knows how to use her children as pack mules to haul the scrap metal or whatever she purchased that one time that weighed like 200 lbs back to the car. HA HA, just kidding mom, I LOVE YOU! Well, that was a true story, so not really kidding...

A N Y W A Y S... Move along, nothing to see here !!!

I don't have enough time to put on a fashion show for you, but I got a little be of everything. Jackets, closed toed shoes, a shrug, shirts, jewelry... Gotta prep for winter, ya know?! However, every shopping trip produces something SO EXCITING, I get worked up just THINKING about it. Feast your eyes on my new lady friend. Yeah, I pretty much went lesbian just for her and her hot sister.

Yes, I know this is disturbing. I'm sorry. I LOVE SHOES! and Guess shoes, particularly those by Marciano are starting to multiply in my closet. Sometimes I just sit on the floor in my closet and look at all my little pretties. Is that weird? WHAT? WHY?!?! It makes me so happy though!

Wanna see what totally turns me on? Here's some FREE PORN for you. Go ahead, it's work safe... What? Don't you trust me? Just click it! C'MON!!

Speaking of fashion - it's a lot of work to even look semi put together! I think that's about the time some people just wave the white flag. They surrender. They. dont. care. This concept is foreign to me from every vantage point. On that note, I give to you the worst dressed man of the week.

Alright, enough of that nonsense... Don't you want to hear about other thing's that I think are cool that actually make me uncool?  LOOK AT THE LITTLE BASIL BABIES in my Aerogarden! They're growing up so fast... Why just a couple weeks ago I remember...

Okay, well, shoes, porn, and basil is about as wide a range of topics as I'm willing to cover today. I'm gonna call it a night now! G'night everyone!

I'm famous! But totally not for what I want to be famous for!

Google Analytics doesn't lie. You guys are fucked up. Lately I've become a total stats junky and now I have proof that all four of you readers are sick. Sick sick sick sick SICK!

I looked up keywords and here are a few of my favorites. It's so sad that I know exactly what posts these refer to too!

fisting ((The Bloggess would be so proud! - not that she even knows I exist))
reverse anorexia in women
vegetarian shooting
what does heroin taste like?

Actually, these aren't that great, but I'm half assing it today because I have a lot of work to do! Plus, I have something to go to at 7pm and then a roomie dinner at 8:30 and tomorrow I'm getting my hair done and then the 'rents and I are heading out to Magic Mountain! I'm so excited!!!

PS - yesterday I ate another Chocodile. Here is proof that these things go straight to your hips :(

This is actually motivating. My roomies and I have a trip to Vegas planned and it's time to get serious and slim down so we can be Vegas ready! We've plastered our fridge with Victoria's Secret models and soon we're going to spend an afternoon weeping and beating our chests in lamentation and there will be much gnashing of teeth and dry heaves trying on bathing suits to prep for summer! I can't wait!

Monumental restraint

I'd like to start by saying that I'm a shopper. I've broke many a person at the mall. I met my match today. My mom showed me how it was done AND SHE'S handicapped at the moment. She had a hip replacement less than a year ago Because of some injuries from a car accident. 7 hours at the Fashion Show Mall here in Vegas on black friday no less and I am SPENT! and I didn't buy even ONE thing! That is monumental restraint right there! Although I did lust after this pair of sunglasses: (FYI - $500 is why I didn't buy them...)


I would have bought this dress and it was on sale, but they didn't have my size :(


However, sometimes, if you spend enough time at the mall, you make a discovery so splendid. So wonderful. So fascinating. You must share it with the world! Among other things, I'm also a shoe person. I don't even care if they are womens shoes. I love mens shoes too! But then I came across THIS:

Actually, you may enjoy the many many details here. In case you didn't know, yes, that's velcro! What's your fancy? GOLD? GOLD PLATING? LEOPARD PRINT? JEWELS? THESE HAVE IT ALL!!

I'm gonna let you in on a little secret. The wearer of these shoes is LOADED! And by loaded I mean either or. They are either HEAVILY sedated or high as a fucking kite... OR they have so more money than you will ever understand. When a little old lady comes into our dealership and she's got those gold sequined keds - she's ready to make a deal! And not on a cheap RV! hahahahahaha

Vegas is such a rare city. I can't even count how many times I've been here. Most people refer to it as Sin City and oh how I know it can be, but actually I haven't had a drink since we got here, we don't gamble, and we're all not really interested in the strip clubs... so what does that leave?

EVERYTHING! This place is so grand. There is everything from Picasso to Sharks! Ferrari's to Pirate Ships. Tigers to Volcano's. And EVERYTHING turns into a show. Whether its the marble statues that come to life or the cartoon on the bigscreen over the escalators that talks to you. Shoot, there was some crazy song and dance at the mall. This giant Christmas Tree raised up into the air and santa and all his slight slutty helpers came tumbling and singing out from underneath it! LOL

Here's my brother and I today :)


OHHH, and don't forget the food!!! The glorious food! I pretty much lost my mind yesterday. And I've eaten here many times, but the Buffet at the Treasure Island is SO GOOD! I'd like to start by telling you, I'm not a dessert person. Blasphemy, yes I know, but give me some chips or crackers or french fries. I'm a salty savory carb girl hands down. If you know me, you know this. HOWEVER, notice I was SO moved, I actually took multiple pictures with my dessert!


They had a fucking cotton candy machine!!!! Yeah... that's right, you read correctly. It was phenomenal!



Well, that's my post. Hope your weekend is going great! Talk to ya soon!

I think I have reverse anorexia...

Controversial and shocking, I know!

Hang in here with me for this one, will ya? I actually spent like an hour trying to prepare for this blog with pictures and everything, but then I couldn't find the one photo I saw on TV that started this whole train of thought, but I'm going to ramble on anyways.

I'm 30 years old. I'm 5'7" tall. I weigh around 130 lbs. I currently wear a size 8, but I do have some size 10's in my drawer. I would not consider myself fat. I look in the mirror every day and turn around and inspect and I think I'm doing alright.

Then I get to the store and I start trying on clothes and I panic. REALLY? I'm a size 17? OH WAIT, Marisa stumbled into the Juniors section. Let me find my way to MISSES... Really? When I buy underwear I'm a LARGE? Really? Cuz I'm looking at people around town and I'm thinking a lot of them are WAAAY bigger than me. I see a lot of BIG girls cramming their fat asses into a size 10. I want to know where the average woman buys her panties? If the average size for a women is now 14, how is it that I wear a LARGE anything? I know my butt is on the big size, but geez!

Oprah had a show recently about past Biggest Loser contestants. This one lady came out claiming she was a size 10 and she looked 30 lbs heavier than me! (TO ME)

Seriously, I'm sure I have reverse anorexia. You know how anorexics look in the mirror when they only weigh 68 lbs but they think they are all fat? I'm really fearing that all 400lbs of me looks in the mirror and sees a model. ha ha ha

I must just not be good at math because some numbers aren't adding up here.

Life Realizations and contradiction

So, I've been meaning to write for a while. Sorry for the delay.

Figured I'd cover a few things mentioned in my title.

Life:

Life is good.

Realizations:

1) I don't like leaving the house. I mean, I do... but now that I work from home, leaving the house leaves me a nervous wreck. I just attempted to take someone across town at 5:00. Rush hour traffic in the dark. I've experienced everything from panic and extreme nausea to burning anger. I have arrived home and I am just a mess. The crazy idiots out on the road driving their raised F350 dually's who blind my low riding sports cars rearview mirror, then pass me on the RIGHT SIDE of the street, only to be trapped in front of me so that I am incapable of seeing over or around ANYTHING while they speed up to 50 and then slam on their breaks is more than my little hermit heart can handle. I am seriously shaken.

On a lighter note...

2) I have a serious shoe thing. For all these years that I denied my girly side. Now that I'm coming into my own, I really really have a love for expensive shoes. I just enjoy looking at them. Touching em. Trying them on. I mean, do i even need to mention "PURCHASING" them? It's not like a sex equivalent or anything, but seriously, I went to the mall the other day. And I just LOST MY MIND. I had been eyeing this pair of "Coach" Whitney D'Orsay pumps, and I just said, screw it. I BOUGHT THEM! It was like a shot of heroin (assuming that's a pretty good high since i've never tried heroin) I haven't even worn them yet, but i just open the closet and look at them. Oh my god, do I love them SO MUCH! I am just making my pledge now to not sell myself cheap at Ross anymore. I always shop at the cheap places trying to pull together an expensive look on a paupers budget and I'm just quiting that! I'd rather have 1 pair of $220 shoes that will always look good and last forever than 10 pairs of $20 shoes that hurt my feet, look cheap and break after a few months.

Contradictions:

So there, I've said it. I like expensive things. I REALLY like expensive shoes. And I've been reading a lot of hate blogs about women. How shallow they are. How they feel they wear a certain uniform. How much time and money they could save if they put their energy into learning instead of getting that brazillian wax.

Well, fuck it. Maybe it's the woman in me that takes whatever I read or hear or see and tries to apply it to myself, but I can't do that anymore. Yes, I wear thong underwear, get my nails done, have streaked hair, tan, and get waxed. Does that mean I'm some sort of wanna be porn star? Some superficial plastic whore with her designer bag and expensive shoes? NO...

I also own a $2,200 dog and drive a sports car and I have my tongue pierced and I have a tatoo. I'm sorry. I love my puppy. I love my car. I've had my tongue ring before all you posers (7+ years now) and my tattoo means a lot to me. And having my nails done makes me feel pretty. SO WHAT DO YOU CARE? But my lesson is life is this.

You just have to be ok with who you are. I'm not some fat goth chick who really wants attention by strapping my gynormous breasts into a leather bustier and making a scene. I'd like to think i'm somewhat modest. And people that get to know me will know that I am generous and grounded. That I recycle. That I'm a health conscious vegetarian. All I ever wanted to be was a domestic house wife. That I have some hippy tendencies in there. That I donate my time and energy to good causes. I can be nerdy. BUT that overall, you can't keep comparing yourselves to others to know that you are a good person.

You just have to be what you are, use reason and apply balance to your life and things will be ok. I am a contradiction. This vegetarian just spent over $200 on a pair of leather shoes. SO WHAT? I use canvas bags at the grocery store, but I REFUSE to turn the water off the whole time I'm brushing my teeth. SO WHAT? Maybe people like me annoy you. I don't know.

SO WHAT? I'm me. I like you... I hope you like me. It's taken me 27 years to say "I LIKE ME"... and I do.

Now I've gotta go give myself a pedicure. SEE YA! LOL

Let's go around the room and get to know each other!

Hey Everyone! Thanks for visiting my blog. My name is Marisa!! Some people call me Mars... The picture to the left is already outdated as I change my hair all the time... so just roll with it okay?

I've always been a word nerd and find writing to be cathartic for the chaos that overtakes my brain. I don't claim to be a journalist or a writer or any "title" of anything special. I'm random and overly detailed and sarcastic as fuck, so have fun figuring out what I'm serious about and what I'm not. HAHA

If you click around, you may notice I've been posting stuff since like 2005, but actually I'll ask that you don't read back to those days. They're a bit darker than the happy sunny rainbows I'd like to portray!

Actually, as with every year, 2010 has brought me greater understandings about my life and just how good it can be. I live in Fresno, California and even though people give us a hard time, this really is a great place to live.

Besides being a complete Apple (Mac) fanatic, there's not much I don't enjoy. Ask me and I'll tell you, but some of my favorites involve cooking, party planning, eating, reading, drawing, and talking. I could eat a million chocodiles too... GO TRY ONE RIGHT NOW AND THEN COME BACK!! I'm nervous and twitchy and hilarious if I do say so myself. I want to soak in any and all that life brings my way to it's extreme! I truly believe life is in the little details. I don't really know where I'm going with this so I'm going to awkwardly change the subject with no segue... and yeah, that is one fucked up word...

I also have the cutest dog on earth. His name is HarMar and you can click the labels to see his many adorable pictures. I don't want to explain the name too many more times, but so that you all will quit frowning and wishing I had named him Skittles or something annoying: He's named after "HarMar Super Star" the band of an eclectic and unattractive man who gets all the ladies... I thought it was appropriate! Enough said?

AS FOR ME ME:

I don't want to look back on life and have any regrets that I didn't do or try something! In fact, I've always found that while life is full of mistakes, I've always regretted the things I didn't do, far more than the things I did do.

I'm a strict vegetarian and I can't believe it's been 7 years already! However, I love to cook and I promise you won't leave hungry after I cook you an honest meal! I also have a secret love for people who lapse into moments of nerdiness.

Overall, I'm seeking balance, acceptance, and happiness. That's not too much ask is it?

10 Personal Truths

1. I believe in the universal interconnectedness of all things.

2. I have an almost unbearable sensitivity to anothers aura and BEG that people be conscious of the energy they bring to me. Negativity and anger emanating from another can literally bring me to my knees and I cease to function....

3. I am greatly comforted by symmetry and find that my mental clarity really is tied to the tidyness of my house/office/drawers/etc... "A place for everything and everything in it's place"

4. I have an "addictive" personality. I am slightly compulsive about: Straightening, steam cleaning, caffeine, food, driving fast, and a slew of other things I'm sure...

5. I am a cookware snob (Particularly knives...) I would much rather go through the tedious process to pack up my own equipment and bring it with me WHEREVER than be forced to cook with sub-standard stuff. I will NOT cut anything unless I have my own knife...

6. I am a contradiction. I want to be tough like a man, but treated tenderly like a woman. There is nothing I can't do, but I would love if someone wanted to take care of me. I am the sweetest most innocent person you know, but extremely exposed, raw, and jaded to many things. I am a girly tomboy. I am a meat loving vegetarian.

7. I'm pretty sure I have an undocumented case of Narcolepsy and restless leg syndrome.

8. If they invented a chip you could put in your brain that functioned like an iPod I would be the first to sign up for it! I want to hear music in my head 24 hrs a day.

9. I believe that diet (food) and exercise are the keys to solving almost every health issue.

10. I am extremely passionate (almost extreme) about everything I do and I cannot do anything that I do not believe in, but this has led to me over committing myself to too many things at once which drains me.

So - did you know those 10 things? Maybe, maybe not. Hope to see you around the blogosphere!