Thursday, July 2, 2009

Violence Unsilenced

I don't know if it's incredibly scary or really really brave, but I did something out of character.

I took a subject which (until the end of the year) I had never spoken about and not only published it on my blog, but submitted it to Violence Unsilenced. This was months ago though and I had completely forgotten about it until yesterday when I received an email saying it was my turn to have my story featured. You can go there and read it if you want to.

This all started after I had some very intense and surprising internal reactions to writing this post. Not because I was in denial about it, but because writing it all down at one time, in one place, made it so plain to see that it was something serious. All these years I had brushed it off as not being anything to worry about. Perhaps the individual memories weren't noteworthy, but together they had weight... they were heavy... and WHILE SCARY or possibly really really brave, saying something was the turning point for me!

Blogging and putting yourself out there in a public forum is difficult. You run the risk of people misinterpreting what you say... Of people who don't know you (and actually people who DO know you) judging you... This is my worst fear and yet strangely blogging/writing is SO SO cathartic for me. I take all these heavy thoughts and burdens and I release them to the universe. Plus, for me, I find my biggest motivation in life is to connect and share with others. I probably go about it a bit passive aggressive by blogging, being all quasi anonymous and all... but oh well.

I know what my intention is. I try SO very hard to be the best I can be. To be kind. To be thoughtful. To know I DON'T KNOW the fully story of those that I encounter. To treat others how I want to be treated. Ultimately you can't please everyone, but I keep putting it out there anyways. Sometimes you just gotta take a chance, ya know?

2 comments:

Mojo July 2, 2009 at 7:17 AM  

"Scary" and "brave" are always two sides of the same coin. Your story needed telling, for you and for others. Telling it takes a lot of guts. And as someone once told me, "It's not courage if you're not terrified".

Good on ya. I got there before anybody had commented and by the time I was finished typing, three other people had already left comments. So in case you were still wondering, yeah... it counts.

MilesPerHour July 2, 2009 at 8:25 AM  

I understand completely aboout striving to be the best person I can be - a good person and one who does the right and just things. It's not easy. Surprisingly to me I found that my blog has touched others in a way I would never have guessed. God's way of working through me I guess.

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