Thursday, February 26, 2009

Affordable affluence, Cucumber Dreams, & Conversational Civility

Things on my mind...

1) How come so many homeless and poor people are fat? Isn't obesity a sign of affluence? Okay, talking any more about that subject will get me in trouble - I was just wondering.

2) Am I the only one who sees the cleaning companies diabolical scheme to sexually frustrate American homes everywhere? There are plenty of studies out there saying that the scent that "turns on" a woman is cucumber. (Yes Yes, save your phallic jokes for someone else) The scent that "turns on" a man is lavender. (also pumpkin pie, but everyone loves that, so that's weird)

Anyways, now I'd like you to go do a little research. See if you can find any dish soap, fabric softener, or cleaning spray that isn't freakin' cucumber or lavender!! I know most women think a man that does chores is sexy, but this is starting to take on more meaning.

3) What happened to SHAME? Why is everyone so comfortable with talking about things they shouldn't? If I run into you at the grocery store and ask where your husband is, DO NOT tell me about his case of explosive diarrhea!! A simple "he's not feeling well" would have sufficed. I don't need or want to know the details of your lactose intolerance, your intestinal gas, acid reflux, your last really good bowel movement, heartburn, or that time you had the flu. There used to be a time when we didn't speak about such things. I'm a visual person too. Any and everything you say to me, I picture you doing. My brain works in pictures. This is probably why I have an INTENSE aversion to bathroom humor, but anyways - please people - a little conversational civility would be MUCH APPRECIATED!

Well, those were just a few things on my mind tonight. Hope they brought about at least a chuckle.

5 comments:

Spamboy February 27, 2009 at 9:30 AM  

Yep, we're drowning in cucumber in our household -- but this is mostly to our guinea pig, who eats them everyday. :)

Chris Hangsleben February 27, 2009 at 10:08 AM  

Fortunately for me all my cleaning stuff is Orange smelling.

MilesPerHour February 27, 2009 at 11:33 AM  

I don't like lavender much at all...hmmm, give me vanilla or musk!

Steam Me Up, Kid February 27, 2009 at 8:57 PM  

I have to admit I am one of those people with no shame at all. No filter. sorry. If you met me at the supermarket I'd tell you about my itchy ass or how I overproduce earwax.

I think the poor obese has something to do with cheap fast food. It's EXPENSIVE to eat healthy lately, dang!

JohnJayJay February 27, 2009 at 9:42 PM  

Oh, I know you were being funny, but:
1) Steam me up kid beat me to it, but cheap food is calorie dense and filled with oils, sugars and fats. See fast food, potato chips, snack cakes, tv dinners, etc. Because cheap food isn't very natural, they have to ramp up the bad stuff to make it taste 'good' (to some people).
2)Sex sells. Oldest scheme in marketing. But you know that.
3) People have been complaining about the decline of civility forever. Ever heard the term "The world is going to hell in a handbasket?" Just that one has been around for a hundred years. http://www.thejoneses.com/hell.htm
Each succeeding generation is horrified by the previous. Just think of what our parents think of us, and so on...

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