Funny thing about being cold...

...is it's not funny at all!

I am always cold. Like Marisa needs to have her Thyroid checked cold. Like I have on a jacket and a blanket on my lap and a heater under my desk RIGHT NOW cold. I hate being cold. (Weather forecast shows it should be 73 and sunny today... so umm... something is just wrong with ME here)

I was really cold in urgent care the other day. When they checked my temperature it said 98.4 - not that .2 degrees means much of anything, but I had a little chuckle and thought YEAH... I AM ACTUALLY COLDER than the average person. Just enough .2 to be uncomfortable at all times. UGH.

So, I’m trying to come up with an affordable (Heating my house is not affordable BTW - PG&E standard of 68 degrees is fucking cold and still costs me $220 a month... AHEM...) way to keep warm.

I don’t have nearly the time it would take to develop a workout regimen. I say that because all of my big bad buff work out all the time guy friends sweat like pigs 24 hours a day due to much manly weight lifting (Or so they say)

I also don’t think I should be drinking on the job. Although, the movies have taught me that taking a shot of whiskey will WARM YA UP!

This is where I took a big leap and decided that me being cold is the same as me being drunk. Hang in there with me. They say right before you die from hypothermia you lose your dexterity. I can’t feel my fingers right now so if you had any idea how long this is taking me to type you’d know my work productivity is severely limited. All I can think about is how cold I am and therefore I'm not making good decisions. But isn't that what they always say about drinking alcohol? It hampers your dexterity, your clear thinking, your reaction time. OMG being drunk is the same as being cold!

Maybe I need to join WA (Weather Anonymous)... No that’s dumb - TA (Temperature Anonymous)... No that’s too close to T&A.. AH HA HA See what I mean about clear thinking diminishing? This must be why I find myself to be so hilarious. Clearly I’m delusional. The cold has seeped into my brain and killed my ability to complete a thought. Must.go.try.to.warm.up...