Sunday, September 7, 2008

I will NEVER be this cool...

I'm just taking a second to write about my dad. He is the coolest. And I'm not partial here, he just is. My friends would rather hang out with him than me 1/2 the time. Who wouldn't? He is the happiest person on earth. And the hardest worker I know. And secretly brilliant (He doesn't walk around spouting about algebra and scientific theory, but there isn't ANYTHING he can't do) In fact, you can pretty much catch him laughing 24 hrs a day... even if you see him driving the car by himself!
Tradition in our house.  1) Prizes displayed on bar (2) prizee takes pics with everyone in house (Me, my dad, and my brother)
He's a wirey little black man that has captured the hearts of all. He'll stop whatever he's doing and drive across town to unclog my kitchen drain for the 3rd time (I know I know, I can't put potato peels down there... but it's hard not to!) He'll take the day off to fix my car. He'll show up at night and secretly kill spiders outside the house and not even mention he was there. He'll bring his car 20 miles outside of town for me to drive home because there was a spider in my car!

All he asks for is food. LOTS OF FOOD. VOLUME FOOD. BIGGEST POT OF FOOD YOU CAN MAKE AND THEN DOUBLE THAT RECIPE. FILLER FOOD. LOL How does a 63 year old 140 lb man eat so much? Don't EVER challenge him. My dad is a retired Fire Department Captain. Most fire houses have a cook and the rule is, if you cook you don't do dishes. My dad does not cook. His idea of cooking is opening a can of tuna, turning it upside down on bread and eating that. Last week he ate an entire head of romaine lettuce. PLAIN. One leaf at a time. No bowl. No dressing. No nothing. Just lettuce. But he ALSO does NOT do dishes. He says he would always bet that if he ate more than the other guys he could get out of doing the dishes. 35 years and never touched a dish. Don't challenge him.

Yesterday he took my brother and I to the lake. Just a quick trip. We stopped and got snacks at the store and found a place to drift around in the shade... and my dad started talking. He proceeds to tell us story after story of his unassuming coolness. Seriously - I will NEVER be that cool. When he was 24, he had a little ski/speed boat they called "Short Change". He was at Shaver lake and noticed 2 boats that were hot rodding around and racing. These boats looked and sounded fast. I can't tell the story nearly as cool as him, but apparently when he heard the boats firing up for another race he went out to meet them. Some may consider that to be a cool enough part of the story. Even if he was a long shot in an unassuming little boat the story goes on. When he took off his friend decided he wanted to water ski out there... So they get out there and OOOPS the race is right NOW and it's on. My dad looks back at his friend Fred and Fred gives the huge thumbs up (Hit It! Go Faster!) signal. They womped on the gas and beat both the boats with Fred in tow!!!!!!!!

I will NEVER be this cool! I'm already 6 years older than he was at that point and my idea of a good time is drinking a glass of wine and watching Judge Judy on the TiVo! Ok, I do some cool stuff every once and a while, but god damn - he's too cool!

You would all be so lucky to know him! Just had to put that down in writing.


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