How did that get there!?!?

I can't even begin to tell you how much I love my roomies. They are phenomenal, kind, happy, sweet, nice, overall GOOD GIRLS... That being said, I have NO IDEA what they think of me.

With fear and trepidation, Melissa came to me this evening to inform me of the bad news. I prepare for her to tell me she's moving out. She's fatally injured the dog. She's lost her job. Something tragic, ya know!? Uhhhh, Noooo - She has accidentally dropped a piece of meat on the side of the oven. You know, that side that is wedged tight against the kitchen cabinetry. What should she do?

I find this hilarious... Here I am worried about all this serious stuff. Did she think I would yell at her? Kick her out? ha!

My answer?? "Okaaay, why don't you get it out so it doesn't stink..."

As I mentioned in a prior blog, I'm the fixer around here. I don't know how it happened, but somewhere I earned a reputation for being able to do ANYTHING! After many blank stares, I suggest we get a wire hanger and unwrap it and just poke it and pull it out. Seems obvious enough.

Now here's where the story gets good. Our house was built in the 80's sometime and it has older appliances. The oven doesn't seemed to have been moved much. As we are crouching down and poking around for this rogue piece of beef, I happen to get a little LOWER and low and behold... there is a cornucopia of color down there. Like a fabric store. Or a yarn factory. or the cat toy isle at Petsmart. Yeah, that's right - Cat Toys. SO MANY CAT TOYS.

Everyone is down on their hands and knees saying WOW and WTF and HUH and then everyone just gets up and walks away. Am I the only one who is bothered by this? Apparently so. So at 10pm I start my determined yet magical journey to pull this oven out and get these cat toys!

After I pull the oven out, I realize I could have just taken the little faux drawer off the front. (Jesus Christ, you're kidding me...) Then I realized I have pulled off some sort of vent. (Mother fucking unbelievable...) It's okay, it's okay. I cleaned all under there and put the oven back. Got my duct tape and resealed the vent onto its proper place and I feel really good that everything is perfect again in my world.

Total tally for under the oven?

1 golf ball
3 beer bottle caps
5 milk carton tops
19 cat toys. (yes, nineteen)

What the fuck was going on under my oven !?!?!?

I of course got over it and threw everything away, but I think the thing that gets me the most is everyone else's reaction TO ME. They kept saying, that stuff really bothered you didn't it? You just had to get it didn't you?

Wouldn't it bother you? I guess I just don't feel comfortable leaving 2 dozen FABRIC toys under something that's sole purpose involves FIRE. I know it's a stretch, but that's seems unsafe somehow. And it's dirty so I wanted to use this as motivation to scrub back there too.

Am I really that strange? Am I the only one who thought that wasn't worth 20 minutes of my time? Would you have just left it there? I'm so scared to believe the answer is yes. That's probably how 20 cat toys wound up there in the first place, and STAYED there!

Sometimes I feel so alone in this world. hahahaha