Sunday, September 7, 2008

Because I like to share...

Yeah, I like to share random facts about me. I don't know why. They are usually personal and most of the time, not in a flattering way. When you click around in the blog world you see people who post the "6 facts about me" thing... and then I guess you tag your readers to do the same. I'm not going to limit myself to 6 though. I'm an overacheiver...

I don't think I have any readers, but I'm going to do it anyways... Hell, I re-read my own blogs and think I'm awesome so let me quit pretending this was about anyone other than myself anyways! HA HA HA Shoot, someone may read this... Or maybe something will happen to me and you all can pop onto my blog and feel like you shared a part of my life. EVER last boring neurotic detail. HA! I didn't mean that to be as morbid as I think it sounded, oh my god. Anyways, on to the facts.

1) I am quite positive I am the only one who knows how to properly load a dishwasher. I will be repacking it if you put something in there. Just deal with it. And yes, I DID READ THE MANUAL about water flow and which sections are best suited for which type of plate/bowl/cup/etc. Awww Maaan, I gotta get a life!

2) (a) I am very breakable. I have broken my left arm high jumping, my right arm snowboarding (I tried to follow cute boys off the beaten path), my left leg bike riding (I hit a lady while racing back to camp at Lake Almanor), my left elbow roller blading (My sister was trying to teach me how to spin so that we could make a video spoof of Nancy Kerrigan getting her knee smashed by Tanya Harding... LOL), and my back in a car accident. (b) I am stubborn and don't learn my lesson quickly that there are things I just shouldn't try. I know, I know - I should stay indoors!

3) I HONESTLY THINK I'M HILARIOUS.. hands down. I like me. I crack myself up. I find my own OCD and neurosis amusing. If I knew me, we would most definitely FIGHT... but really, I crack myself up all the time...

4) I do have the potential to just SNAP. One day, in a TV mini drama moment I WILL come unglued. I've written about it in past blogs. I fear I'm going to lose it and (*) drive right into the back of a slow moving vehicle to push them faster [Quick flash - Fried Green Tomatoes](*) clock an old lady at the check out isle if she moves any closer to me (*) Take all 10 of my poorly packed PLASTIC bags when I only needed 1 canvas bag and just turn them upside down in the isles [Quick flash - Michael Douglas in Falling Down - the Whammy Burger scene] (*) key that bitches car next time she refuses to park it in the garage... [Quick flash - any Jerry Springer episode] You know - SOMETHING BAD...

5) I'm not good at math. While it causes me much grief and embarrassment, I just can't do it. I can solve the problem, but the actual numbers are mind boggling. I still add with my fingers and everything else, i just use my calculator. What's wrong with calculators? Actually it's anything that involves a number. I can't tell you how many years ago something happened. I could never guess the weight of something. I have no idea how much time it takes to get somewhere. I have no idea how many thousands of miles it is from Fresno to Vegas. I don't know how many ounces is in a quart or centimeters in an inch. It's a curse. THANK GOD FOR GOOGLE and my iPhone with it's google potential. I look way more capable than I really am.

6) I have a lot of rules about movies... I do not watch Westerns... Love stories... Period Pieces... Romantic comedies... War movies... Sci-Fi... Disney or kids movies... or Horror... Except, The Little Mermaid is the greatest movie of all time. And I'm going to have an "under the sea" themed party at my house. I want to be Ariel and HarMar is going to be Flounder and it will be the best themed party ever held. If you don't know the words to every song, there is something wrong with you. It's awesome and I don't care what you say.

7) (*BONUS*) I can't read regular clocks. :( Why do I try and take this hand this way and that hand that way and when the sun shines at the right time and 40 billion years ago when there were only roman numerals... UHHH NO... Fucking digital is where it's at. What time is it? 2:21... Very simple. Thank you.


8) (*BONUS*) When I blow out a candle, I have to KEEP BLOWING on it until it is completely extinguished. No flame, ember, or even smoke can be coming from the candle. I have no rhyme or reason for it, it's just "a thing" of mine...


9) (*BONUS*) I like things to be very very even. I always rearrange the eggs in the cartons to the middle of the carton so it's more balanced. Sometimes I'll even use an extra egg so that is perfectly even in 4's or 6's, etc...


10) (*BONUS*) I'm a compulsive list maker. Now, don't laugh, but I even made a list about writing this list online. HA! It's not so much that I'm into the list, but that I know myself and when you have 10 billion thoughts flying thru your head, you are bound to forget at least 9 billion of them. So I write it down. Then I refer back to my list and make sure I mentioned everything.


11) (*BONUS*) Ok, I lied earlier... I am also into the list... Every day I write a "To Do" list. I never write a list in the same color pen as the day before. How boring! Also, if in the process of writing the list I make a mistake... I will ALWAYS tear it up and start fresh. Even if I'm on the very last listing. No one else is allowed to write on my list. It MUST be in my handwriting. And when you complete something you must highlight all the way across the page. Don't just highlight the words, continue on until the WHOLE line is highlighted. YES, I know I just lost at least 2 friends.

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