Wednesday, March 10, 2010

The Golden Boy

What's it like? What's it like to be spoiled rotten? Some people may think my life was something to be fancied. Yeah, we lived in a nice house. So what, I had a pony. Maybe we had the RV's and the houseboat and the speed boat and the jet skis. Possibly you heard we traveled around the country for weeks at a time. Okay, I admit, we lived WELL.

But no.

My bitterness and jealousy can be checked by NO ONE.

I don't even think I can name the WORK I did. Everything from pouring cement to digging ditches. Juicing 75 lb bags of carrots for an ailing mother dying of a brain tumor (she lived) to caring for a baby that wasn't mine. (15 yrs my junior brother) From delivering firewood to painting fences. Removing wallpaper to raking up the the fallen leaves of nearly TWO HUNDRED trees. There was no mercy. There was no cable. There was no prom, no music, no football games. I was denied after school participation in Forensics. (Not dead bodies, but debate! NERD STUFF!) Denied when I was IN school that is. I gave up my freshmen and senior year to home studies so I could serve the needs of my family. Oh and do not doubt for a second... through all of that, I brought home straight A's. I worked part time caring for my ailing grandparents. Did everything I could to prove myself a good and worthy person.

Then enter THE GOLDEN BOY. That sweet curly headed boy. The boy who does whatever the fuck he wants to and gets rewarded for simply existing. He's brought home bad grades. He's had some "incidents" with the law. He's fully enveloped in teenage angst and apathy. Yet, he's the GOLDEN BOY.

I want good for him. Hell, I want the BEST for him. BUT some days I think he needs to fucking earn it. Pay his dues like I PAID. I don't know why I fight for him. Mom says it's because I'm fighting for myself. She's probably right.

Drive a brand new car? Live in the city in a mansion across the street from the school and your after school robotics program? Have a cell phone? Get a brand new iPod touch? Take out of town trips with the school? Play your video games and have your friends over? I die a little inside every time I hear about it.

Do you know I got yelled out for reading too much? For always having my nose buried in a book and not watching where we were driving? I begged to go to school on time even when it was foggy day schedule! I ditched class to go to OTHER classes!

REALLY? Yeah, really.

Carry on with your bad self, but steer clear of me. My vitriol and jealousy knows no bounds.

2 comments:

JohnJayJay March 11, 2010 at 12:45 AM  

Actually, I'd say your mom pretty much nailed it. (and I mean that in a serious way...despite the fact that sounds kinda wrong:)

JohnJayJay March 11, 2010 at 12:50 AM  

...oh, and for better or worse, look at how independent, strong work ethic orientated and self sufficient you are as a result of your upbringing. One has to wonder if they're not ruining your brother. At some point they have to let him grow up....FOR HIS OWN GOOD. Plus, them being older is not helping...they lack the energy needed to battle stubborn teenage resolve, which, trust me, is all out war.

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