A good cornhole game, I guarantee you'll enjoy it!

So I said I'd post something that amused me.

Salespeople often send out followup letters to their customer base. I'm sure you've gotten them if you've ever bought a car, etc. Anyways, I was given some letters the business had received to see if any of the wording used was good for us to incorporate into our own company followup letters.

I'm innocently reading along and BAM, I discover this gem...

I just keep reading it and re-reading it, and it gets funnier EVERY time. Brilliant! Just brilliant!

Of course, someone spoiled all the fun and informed me that a game of cornhole is a bean bag toss. I was WAAAAY off! LOL

Hope this got you to chuckle! Happy Monday!

Magic Milk Straws - REALLY?!

I must be REALLY observant. Like really, really. Things just catch my eye and they either amuse me or disturb me greatly.

Let's start with what disturbed me first.  (Check back later for an amusing post)

I'm at Target and I see these things called "Milk Straws"... Besides taking a detour to tell the general public.... GEEZZUSS CHRIST you can get calcium from sources other than what the dairy industry owned government brainwashed you into thinking was only milk... Is it really a problem to get your kids to drink milk?? I don't know, this is why I have a dog, so if he's bad I can sell him. I think you get in trouble if you do that with your kids. Not quite sure, but since I have none it's a moot issue anyways.

So here is this prized STRAW. Mmmmm strawberry milk is good right? Oh, and whats this? MAGIC Milk Straws. That's WAY better than a regular already made up thing any day, right?

However, I can't help myself. I wish ignorance was bliss, but I need to know - What's in a MAGIC MILK STRAW?

Oh no shit, you don't say?? Not just one, or two, but THREE different derivatives of SUGAR?!?! REALLY???? Uh huh. Yeah, it's real important your kids drink that milk right? I find my kids drink their milk better when I shoot them full of MAGIC heroin. Certainly the negative effects of that are counterbalanced and THEN SOME by the worlds only source of calcium, right? RIGHT?

Very disturbing folks, VERY DISTURBING!

WHOA I'm WAY behind!

I think I told you guys to check back for some pictures of what I've been up to!

A popular question from my friends tends to be: "So, besides running, what have you been up to?"

*Crickets*
*Eerie silence*

There's something else other than running? HAHA

Apparently, there is, but not around these parts! My every meal, sleep cycle, and purchase is seeming to revolve around that right now. So Just bear with me here, it MAY come up again!

Here is a text conversation that THOROUGHLY amused me:

I can see now, this is gonna be more of a food blog today. I'm really having to eat a lot! And in a different order. It's throwing me for a loop! I'm supposed to eat breakfast which grieves me deeply! My parents have a nectarine tree though, and I have been enjoying some fresh fruits. I mean, hello Central Valley, we have the best produce in the world available at our fingertips! SEE....?

And not just fruit, but vegetables too. If you think you dislike tomatoes but you've never had a homegrown one, THINK AGAIN! I don't care how ripe or red or whatever, one that comes off the vine of your friends moms tomato plant is the juiciest, meatiest, tastiest thing ever. EVAH! As a close second, have you ever tried heirloom tomatoes?  If not, get your ass to Whole Foods - they are in season now and pretty orgasmic. LOOK at this mountain of heaven!

Last week I made a 5 ingredient pasta that blew my mind! So easy, so tasty! Click here to view the recipes I've posted on Taste Fresno!

Also, I tried the new Eureka! Burger on Palm & Nees. I'm getting tired and don't really feel like writing a full review of the place, I will only say that they are new and have some kinks to work out. And also, I think they were thoroughly befuddled by their own homemade veggie burger. (1) They made it with beets which is disconcerting to see a bright red/purple thing under the bun. (2) It was barely cooked and had the consistency of an avocado, so while the flavor was good, it was mushy and unappetizing!

Yep, that's all I got for now. Ran 11 miles this morning (The furthest EVER!) and now prepping for bed because I need to meet the group tomorrow morning for another 6 miles at 7am!!

I'm with you in spirit...

Seriously, you guys... I think about blogging about 10 times a day, but it's just so hard to make time. I don't know when I genie blinked and suddenly got a life, but yeah, I'm having trouble keeping up my virtual persona! Can you ever forgive me???

Seriously, I'm exhausted, laying on the couch at 10:38pm and just wanting to go to sleep, but FOR YOU, I will persevere.

Know what I did today? Let me tell you...

1st, I had to get to work early for a 7:30am meeting. (Do you remember I'm not a morning person?)
2nd, I had to eat a banana as part of my new meal plan. I do NOT like bananas and was about to just end it all lest I be forced to take one more bite when I decided half a banana is all this grown ass woman can handle! *pew pew*
3rd, I'm off the red bull, I've reduced my soda intake to more than 1 a day, but increased my water drinking to ONE GALLON per day. So 3rd, I spent about 60% of the rest of my day walking back and forth to the effing restroom. God I hate water!
4th, I finally left work after 10 hours and headed to the gym where I paid for a hot guy to mentally and physically abuse me. We did this new timed thing where you race to complete 6 exercises at 50 x's each. So tonight I did: 50 pull ups, 50 push ups, 50 weighted squats, 50 weighted sit-up/leg lifts, 50 squat jumps, & 50 floor to ceiling weight lifts in 29 min! F*** Me!
5th, I returned home upon getting clearance to eat carbs tonight (Last night I about went to jail I was so ravenously hungry for chips or SOMETHING cuz I'm only supposed to eat my carbs in the morning~!) and made the biggest burrito ever made. YUM!
6th, AND NOW I SIT HERE... all tapped out. Wanted to tell you all my thoughts and then realizing... there ain't much left folks. *sad face*


So yeah... maybe tomorrow I'll muster up the energy to post some pictures I've been saving for you. Stay tuned!