"Sorry to Bother You" is the new "Hello"

I think the running theme for my blog the last few weeks has been THE EDGE. That and possibly some arsonist tendencies, but whatever, right?

Seriously though, if one more person calls me and greets me with “Sorry to bother you...” I... I... I don’t know what I’ll do!!!

Are you good at math? Can you calculate for me how much time in minutes this WASTES of my day versus just saying “Hello” and then telling me what you fucking want?

You’re NOT sorry...
You saying it in a baby voice changes nothing of the requests to come...
It’s really annoying...

And what happens when I say, “Actually, you are bothering me!” ??? Do you walk away in shame? No, you still need something. I’m still going to do it for you. Let’s not kid each other, alright? I love pleasantries and jovial conversation, but it’s hollow and meaningless if that’s just instinctual drivel that spews out your pie hole because you think it somehow softens the blow of needing me to do MORE stuff for you.

So, please people, PLEASE - save the bullshit and the breath and lets just get on with it. Does anyone have a lighter? A match? A flam... uhhhhh - wait, huh, I just was going to smoke a ciga.... uhhhh Nevermind!

Thank you.