Part 2 - The Excited

So yesterday we covered the hardest part of my day which is getting out of my head and getting out of the house... so let's see, where were we? Oh yeah, Memorial Day Weekend!!

Friday night I met up with friends and we enjoyed bottle service at The Standard. It was nice, but we were on the front patio which left us separated from the music and trapped with the smokers. Plus, I wasn't so into drinking and honestly didn't have that great of a time. My friend Phil and I shared some casual observations, but I was ready to go home.

Saturday after a harrowing experience for HarMar at the vet, I cleaned the house, and Des and I headed off to eat some Pho at New Stars. Then we went to our friend Johns graduation party. That was fun, but I'm still an old lady and despite great chips & salsa, a vodka red bull, and a free shot of Patron - I got tired and we went home to go to bed.

Sunday morning Des & I stumbled out into the hallway at the same time and she suggested we go for a walk. I needed that walk. I grabbed a sandwich and then I went and did one of the bravest things of my life. I went somewhere ALONE. No safety net. No possible idea of what to expect. AND where everyone else already knows each other. My entire plan involved sitting in the corner and use my iPhone for the next several hours.

To my most pleasant surprise I was taken by the hand and welcomed into the Antidote group! There was awesome house music, lots of drinks, great weather, and a phenomenal group of people! I had so much fun. Shoot, I think my name was even scrawled on a "GUEST LIST" so basically, I was a veritable celebrity! Daytime drinking is an acquired art though. Have enough drinks and this old lady needs to go home and take a nap. I HIT MY COUCH RUNNING AND TOTALLY CRASHED OUT!

I woke up just in time to make a delicious taco dinner head back out to see Little Dragon. It was just about the coolest thing ever. After Antidote and thanks to Twitter I'm pretty sure I knew or knew of 50% of the people in the room. This is where my reporting gets faulty. I really stopped worrying about writing stuff down and memorizing important details and linking to stuff. Instead, I FELT IT.

You know those moments when you are driving alone in the car and your favorite song comes on? Those seconds where your problems accidentally fly out the window? Time comes to a screeching halt and sound isn't just something you hear, but instead something you do. It's the something that tickles your nose and brushes against your skin and tastes like heaven.

I don't want to say anything more about it. Here's one of their songs... Listen... Feel... Take a Journey...



PS: If you want a really good and serious review of the show, Go Here.

Part 1 - The Bravery...

Well, this last weekend proved to be insanely busy and quite wonderful, but first shall we take a journey?

Truth be told, I'm a chronic doubter of myself, which is funny (OK not funny) because typing it out just sounds ridiculous. Doing new things though usually leaves me crippled with fear. What if I don't know what to say? What if I wear the wrong outfit? What if my sarcasm is taken wrong? What if I know someone but I don't remember their name and they hate me? What if... what if... what if...??

Maybe I have no self-perception? This is kinda untrue as I'm pretty introspective and spend the majority of my time in my head, but also kinda very true because when people tell me how they perceive me, I never see it coming. Like if you locked me in a room and said, write down everything you think I'm thinking, I probably wouldn't come up with it. Damn you people are strange and unpredictable. Which is also funny because 99% of the time all I have to do is be within 5 feet of you and I will feel in my stomach whether we can be friends or not.

Usually when I first meet someone, I'm pretty much a dud. I sit and I watch and I listen. How do you talk? What do you think is funny? I watch how you blink and how you segue and how you move your hands when you talk and how you raise your eyebrows. I notice your shoes. I smell you. I fully envelope myself in you. Now you think I'm a total stalker. I DIDN'T MEAN IT LIKE THAT!

I just want to know how I'm supposed to be. Its like learning the steps to a newly choreographed dance. Should I be excited or quiet? Do you need to be the center of attention? What are your motivations? Are you religious? What's your favorite drink? What type of music do you listen to? What are you passionate about? You know, all the standard things you need to know when you are trying to assimilate someone. JUST KIDDING!

Maybe you never see it...? Maybe you think I'm funny and talkative and happy and smart...? God only knows... BUT anyways... enough about that!

Remember, I said we were going on a journey?

I only say all of the above so that you know how much mental effort it takes for me to leave the house. It takes a lot. To overcome that MOUNTAIN of questionable data and still say I had a good weekend is the testament of all time!

Well, in telling you all of my deepest darkest secrets, we've completed phase 1 of this "journey" and you can now proceed down the long hallway to your right, to MY WEEKEND!

See you tomorrow for Part 2 - The Excited

Good times were had by all...

Okay, no no - that was a lie. See, I'm a great marketer. I lured you in with a catchy jingle and promises of whoozits whatsit, but the product was of poor quality and misrepresented. OOOPS! So maybe that title was a bit misleading, but no takesies backsies... You're here and now you have to read about it!

I guess, first, I'd like to say it started out really really shitty. If anyone has deduced that I may not be a morning person, it won't really earn you anything because everyone on earth should know that. However, when my phone rang at 7:30am I knew something was wrong. I clamored out of the shower only to see my real dads number on the caller ID. Sigh.
I shouldn't answer...
But maybe it's important...
If it's important he'll leave a message...
For gods sake, how old are you anyways? Just answer the phone.

ME: Hello?
HIM: (Funny voice) Yes, this is the *company I work for* corporate office. We're sorry to inform you that we're going through another round of layoffs and unfortunately we're not going to be needing your services anymore... So luckily for you, you can go ahead and go back to bed.
ME: .........
HIM: hahahahahahahahahahaha

Am I the only one who thinks that is just about the shittiest most fucked up way to ask your daughter to lunch because you are going to be in town? What an asshole. There were two other jokes, one involving him leaving his debts and responsibilities to me should something happen during surgery and a follow up call pretending to be the doctor letting me know my father had passed away.

UMMMMMMMM?????? WHAT?!

I should mention that during the ENTIRE delivery of the aforementioned jokes, I continuously repeated "This is not funny, I don't think this is funny, this is not funny, please stop I don't find this even remotely funny" to which he finished and laughed heartily anyways.

I am ashamed that this is a part of me. I am also hurt. I am also so confused. Without the droning on of the poor me's and the is this normals... I'll just stop. No one wants to read all the drivel.

Everyone has their demons. Their hauntings. The shadow that follows them wherever they go.

Dang, this is a lot of work. Can I get some feedback here?

So, I'm struggling with this whole "city blog" thing. I'm no journalist. I don't want to be troubled with linking to others posts and be all responsible about accuracy with times and such. Can't I just say, "Dude, I like this. Here's how it made me feel. Just go there." ?? That would be easy. Now half of my wonder and grand fascination with my comings and goings are dampened because I feel like I need to pretend I'm a reporter or something.

Plus, I suck. Like, here I go to the Blogger Olympics and I didn't even write a post about my epic loss! Also, I wrote this whole thing about Pizza & Beer at Pizza Fusion and didn't even mention the PIZZA!! I even got an honorable mention for last weeks "goings on" over at FresnoMagBlog and didn't even say Thank you. Are you understanding my suckiness yet?

Then, last week, my real dad shows up at my work unannounced. I have A MILLION feelings about this and I wanted to write it out, but then I was like - dangit - now all these real people who might know me are going to read this and changing my blog focus sort of took from me my personal voice. Sigh.

I need feedback. Am I doing the right thing? I realize it's in its beginning stages and will slowly find it's groove, but is it okay to just do whatever I want? Does random pics, sad overly personal revelations, and product reviews go together? HELP!

Pizza & Beer - MMMMMM

I don't know if you've had a chance to eat at a Pizza Fusion yet, but YOU NEED TO!

This is my favorite place to eat right now! It's really no where in the scope of where I go in this town, but it's SO worth the drive over there!

I'm in love with every aspect! Delicious food, earth friendly, and even vegan options!

Here's what you HAVE to do:

1) GO THERE!!
2) ORDER ANYTHING!! MUST HAVES are the flat bread trio (w/ tapenade!) and the pear and gorgonzola salad.


I just recently attended an event there sponsored by New Belgium Beer. For $4 you got to taste all of New Belgiums brews (Which are on tap at Pizza Fusion), snack on delicious fresh pizza, and keep the New Belgium glass! It was so much fun!


Best part is, they are going to do this again on the 28th. I'm so there!