Regrets?

Well, hair being super important to most women - and me being a hair “changer” - I finally went crazy and cut it all off.

I’m beginning to wonder if it was the right decision or not. I know I got lots of compliments on it, but now when I look in the mirror, I’m not feeling so great. I hope it’s just today... cuz let me tell you - I cut it SHORT and it’s gonna take a while to grow back...

Today I had to run and get blood drawn and I’m coming off of a 3 day weekend and I’m waiting to resign my lease, etc etc... so hopefully it’s just jumbled stress that is making me feel my hair isn’t so great.

Keep your fingers crossed for me!

Help me!

SOO, does anyone have a teenage child that they want to teach responsibility to.........??

I’m just saying...

*Summer vacation is coming up.
*They want to earn a few extra bucks.
*I need help keeping my head above water.

I just need someone to walk the dog, pick up my dry cleaning, run to the store to grab some errands, maybe do the dishes, vacuum, and clean the bathroom.

I’ll sacrifice somewhere to make this happen. You know you want some extra cash. C’MON!!!!!!!!

PLEASE!?!?!?!?

Anger Issues

I wouldn't say I'm one to really even experience anger, but I think I now have a better understanding of what it is to be a man.

I have been experiencing an "almost" uncontrollable urge to just GO CRAZY. Scream, yell, throw things, break things... Apparently I'm just a bit stressed out!

Like yesterday...

After a stressful day at work, I was held over in the parking lot talking about some serious stuff. This caused me to miss my yoga class. So as I drive back towards my house I realize I have to plan 3 birthday parties and a goodbye party and a sandwich sale for the make-a-wish by Wed. I run to Me-N-Eds for a gift certificate. After 10 minutes of waiting, they inform me their manager is off for the next 3 days...

LAME - but ok... no problem.

Then over to Savemart where I'm trying to add up in my head everything from Get Well cards to Sandwich Pickles to birthday cake. (All which I am making by the way) I think I have everything (hey what's another $34... I already have ZERO in my bank account, but why not be nice and give some more to charity)

Get home... oh guess who didn't put 1 crucial bag in my car!!?!? Maybe that was a bit of an angry tingle I felt... So i rush home anyways to get my stuff together to go to Johns to watch Heroes... and he's making dinner (sweetheart that he is) As I go out to load up my car (And my hands are FULL of everything you can imagine...) I realize that my goddamn car has *AGAIN* locked its own doors. (it does this if you open and close the trunk... it locks the doors)

I really did have a moment. I was this close to just throwing down the glass baking sheet I was holding and rolling around in the broken glass... Just go crazy. CRAZEEE... I don't even know if I can explain it to you. But no no no, that's rediculous...

Now I'm a bit stressed so I race back to Savemart w/ the dog to retrieve my bag of stuff. I get that and I race clear back the other direction to Johns house. I get there and his driveway is on a steep slant. The dog jumps out of the car and JUST as my hands are full, the weight of the car door slams shut on my legs and knocks the carton of eggs out of my arms and onto the ground. Talk about my blood boiling! I think my eyes just glazed over.

I recover... no screaming... no nothing and walk up to the door and - the - front - door - is - locked! I've got my hands full of glass and broken eggs and a wild dog peeing on everything and the fucking door is locked?! The garage door is shut!?! The side gate is padlocked!?! So I ring ring ring ring ring ring ring the door bell no answer. Call call call call call the cell phone - no answer.

You want to talk about getting angry?!??! You want to talk about going crazy!?!?!? Just fucking losing it right there on the front lawn!?!?!? OH YEAH! Guess who was upstairs watching TV and playing his guitar without a care in the world? He better be happy he's so damn cute!

So anyways, as a very uneventful end to the story, I had a drink, we ate taco salad and watched Heroes and went to bed by 10:30...

But seriously, is this what it's like to be a guy... to have this uncontrollable anger just well up inside of you? MY GOD, it's HORRIBLE! I DEFINITELY DEFINITELY need to build myself a little meditation room and get a grip on myself. YIKES!

Can I just say...

Yoga is great. :) I'm not having the best day, I'm hungry, tired, and I have a head ache and a stomach ache. I really never ever feel that way. I usually feel great actually! Well, the way I work is to obsess and obsess until I'm basically ready to be hospitalized. I had about 10 minutes where I was ***THIS*** close to going home sick.

In case you forgot, today is day two of my crusade against soda addiction. How pathetic would it be for me to go home because I couldn't have a soda? ***THIS*** close I tell you. So I decided this was ridiculous and certainly not very "Positive Thought" of me... So I started envisioning myself feeling great. Of visualizing myself detoxing. I took several big drinks of water and then I did some yoga poses. Not that I really know what I'm doing, but I stretched, I focused on my breathing, and I did some simple twists. I FEEL GREAT! It was just what I needed to refocus my thoughts and my energy. Guess what? I'm going to live!! LOL

As for everything else, things are pretty good. Tonight I get to go see one of John's daughters recitals. Her name is Kyleigh and she plays the flute. It is also the first dreaded official meeting with the "ex" wife. LOL. Not that dreaded, but enough to mention it, ya know? I'll be sure to let you know how well it goes. I get the distinct impression that no matter what I do, she would still have a snide comment for me.

So, this is me doing myself a favor and not getting all panicked about it. If I showed up looking like Cindy Crawford and gave her a million dollars I bet she'd still hate me. (Keep in mind it was HER choice to be an "ex" so it's not like she should be saying anything) What's the point in worrying then, right?

SOO, since I have to leave early, I should go grab my salad and eat my lunch real quick. But I just had to share that I feel good now :)

The end of an era... and other dumb stuff.

Well, no one goes to rehab sober right? As I've seen my life spin wildly out of control these last few months I've realized it's time for a change. My addiction has affected my life negatively in the following ways...

Ok ok... so I'm just talking about Mountain Dew and food... But I have decided to go on a diet starting tomorrow and I'm drinking my last glorious mt dew right now. AHHHH.... I've notified my friends and family of my new commitment to stop drinking soda and hopefully they support me. If I'm grumpy, it's nothing personal, I SWEAR!

Anyways, there are so many things I can write about, but now I'm drawing a blank. As usual, it's Sunday and I'm here at work. So much stuff to do. It never ends! Why, you ask, am I writing a blog then? Good question. I should probably get back to work!!!

I have to leave to go to "meeting" (church) in about an hour anyways. UGH... that's such a kink in my day.

Tomorrow morning I have to drop my car off at the service center. The air conditioner is on the fritz. Sometimes it works, sometimes it blows hot air even when on cold. Gotta get THAT straightened out before summer hits. I keep hearing people say - What's with this weather, I can't wait for it to quit messing around and get warm.

UMMMM... HELLO!!! You WANT it to get warm? (This is 90% my boyfriend who just built a pool and wants an excuse to start using it... but still) I was just in Laughlin, NV last Monday and Tuesday. It was 109 degrees there. I can personally tell you, I am NOT ready for it to be warm. UGH! NO NO NO! It was so hot, that at one point I actually had to go in the office and sit down for a second.

So yeah, I do need to get back to work. We've got a new hire starting tomorrow and she'll be in my office for the next couple of weeks. I really do prefer to work alone so this will take a little getting used to.

But, now you all know I'm still alive. Just busy. Same old lame story. Just running from one thing to the next. I almost feel like I need to take vacation from my life so I can straighten out things. Do any of you ever feel like that? Is there ever a break for you to catch your breath or is that just how things are now-a-days?

K, I'm off. TTYL!