What have I become?

So, I'm pretty much completely amused by myself this week. 2004 was quite the year of revelations and of coming into my own (finding myself, etc) I think if i was in high school and I could look into the future and seen me I would've just killed myself right then and there to prevent such a tragedy. EXCEPT, I'm actually pretty happy with myself now.

I suppose I should tell some BRIEF history (you'll have to email me for details of the bigger picture if you care) But I've always felt like I had to prove something. That crying was weak. Femininity was weak (especially in the business world) And if you knew the details of my failed marriage, that I also had to be the man in my relationship. So there was no balance and I found myself in Khaki pants and flats, baggy clothes, and all black (NEVER EVER to wear pink or lace or flowers etc)

So yesterday, I'm in Wal-mart and I just CRACKED MYSELF UP. I'm standing there in a pink lowcut top, tight black jeans, pink heels, the cutest pink fuzzy ring, I've got my yorkie under my arm in his pink purse and I'm buying candles and pink nail polish!!! OH MY GOD - what have I become???!!!

Apparently, I'm a bit OVERLY excited w/ my newfound girly outlook (i'm assuming it will mellow over time) I HOPE IT MELLOWS OVER TIME...

Anyways, along w/ my New found GIRL, I just finished watching the Eagles game, which I can admit I woke up early for and actually LIKED IT! Apparently I'm just all over the map. So now the whole world knows! I WEAR PINK AND I WATCH FOOTBALL.

WHEW - I SAID IT!

I'm pretty happy. But what do you say?

Let's go around the room and get to know each other!

Hey Everyone! Thanks for visiting my blog. My name is Marisa!! Some people call me Mars... The picture to the left is already outdated as I change my hair all the time... so just roll with it okay?

I've always been a word nerd and find writing to be cathartic for the chaos that overtakes my brain. I don't claim to be a journalist or a writer or any "title" of anything special. I'm random and overly detailed and sarcastic as fuck, so have fun figuring out what I'm serious about and what I'm not. HAHA

If you click around, you may notice I've been posting stuff since like 2005, but actually I'll ask that you don't read back to those days. They're a bit darker than the happy sunny rainbows I'd like to portray!

Actually, as with every year, 2010 has brought me greater understandings about my life and just how good it can be. I live in Fresno, California and even though people give us a hard time, this really is a great place to live.

Besides being a complete Apple (Mac) fanatic, there's not much I don't enjoy. Ask me and I'll tell you, but some of my favorites involve cooking, party planning, eating, reading, drawing, and talking. I could eat a million chocodiles too... GO TRY ONE RIGHT NOW AND THEN COME BACK!! I'm nervous and twitchy and hilarious if I do say so myself. I want to soak in any and all that life brings my way to it's extreme! I truly believe life is in the little details. I don't really know where I'm going with this so I'm going to awkwardly change the subject with no segue... and yeah, that is one fucked up word...

I also have the cutest dog on earth. His name is HarMar and you can click the labels to see his many adorable pictures. I don't want to explain the name too many more times, but so that you all will quit frowning and wishing I had named him Skittles or something annoying: He's named after "HarMar Super Star" the band of an eclectic and unattractive man who gets all the ladies... I thought it was appropriate! Enough said?

AS FOR ME ME:

I don't want to look back on life and have any regrets that I didn't do or try something! In fact, I've always found that while life is full of mistakes, I've always regretted the things I didn't do, far more than the things I did do.

I'm a strict vegetarian and I can't believe it's been 7 years already! However, I love to cook and I promise you won't leave hungry after I cook you an honest meal! I also have a secret love for people who lapse into moments of nerdiness.

Overall, I'm seeking balance, acceptance, and happiness. That's not too much ask is it?

10 Personal Truths

1. I believe in the universal interconnectedness of all things.

2. I have an almost unbearable sensitivity to anothers aura and BEG that people be conscious of the energy they bring to me. Negativity and anger emanating from another can literally bring me to my knees and I cease to function....

3. I am greatly comforted by symmetry and find that my mental clarity really is tied to the tidyness of my house/office/drawers/etc... "A place for everything and everything in it's place"

4. I have an "addictive" personality. I am slightly compulsive about: Straightening, steam cleaning, caffeine, food, driving fast, and a slew of other things I'm sure...

5. I am a cookware snob (Particularly knives...) I would much rather go through the tedious process to pack up my own equipment and bring it with me WHEREVER than be forced to cook with sub-standard stuff. I will NOT cut anything unless I have my own knife...

6. I am a contradiction. I want to be tough like a man, but treated tenderly like a woman. There is nothing I can't do, but I would love if someone wanted to take care of me. I am the sweetest most innocent person you know, but extremely exposed, raw, and jaded to many things. I am a girly tomboy. I am a meat loving vegetarian.

7. I'm pretty sure I have an undocumented case of Narcolepsy and restless leg syndrome.

8. If they invented a chip you could put in your brain that functioned like an iPod I would be the first to sign up for it! I want to hear music in my head 24 hrs a day.

9. I believe that diet (food) and exercise are the keys to solving almost every health issue.

10. I am extremely passionate (almost extreme) about everything I do and I cannot do anything that I do not believe in, but this has led to me over committing myself to too many things at once which drains me.

So - did you know those 10 things? Maybe, maybe not. Hope to see you around the blogosphere!