I like my ChacoTaco COLD!

So we have a new vending machine at work. I spend hours staring at this thing. I would like to share with you my newest obsession:

1) The Incredible Meal Machine: Umm, 6 out of 12 of these are dessert - does that constitute a meal?
2) What exactly do all those fresh vegetables have to do with pizza, burgers, & ice cream?
3) I feel like this is some sort of cryogenics machine. The ominous plexiglass window that looks into nothing fascinates me.
4) JUST HEAT 'N EAT... ummmm, 6 of these 12 items are ice cream, last time I checked I liked my ChacoTaco COLD! (There's a really raunchy pussy joke in there somewhere, but it's late so I'll leave it up to you)

WTF

Yeah... so driving around town the other day, I saw this...

We could talk 20 minutes about the intricate details of everything wrong with this photo.
1) Is that a dead animal hanging from the back?
2) Is this a mobile memorial to some sort of deceased person?
3) Is that a strange blow up doll on the trunk?
4) What the fuck? I'm mean seriously? What is going on here? I am MYSTIFIED!

Also, I was window shopping and saw THIS...

Did I miss something? Clearly there was a memo sent out that I did not get.
1) This is the best outfit you could come up with for your window?
2) Are shorts okay this short on ANYONE? Umm, no
3) Short shorts with white boots and a popped collar?
4) Did I leave the planet via alien abduction or parallel universe wormhole? Because, What the fuck?

Alright, I'm in bed, I'm tired, and I'm having trouble keeping my eyes open. I'm going to bed now. Much love! Goodnight!

By the looks of things, I must be a drinker...

Quick little post tonight as I'm dog-tired. My sleep schedule got all messed up making those baskets for work. Here they are in all their glory. (This isn't all of them! There were SO MANY! 60 to be exact. Oh, and by the way, if you've ever made SIXTY of anything, you would totally know how hard that is!)

Okay, moving on... I've got lots of random things to show here!

My house is awesome. How the universe drew us together, I'll never know, but you couldn't measure my love for "my girls" on any earthly scale. We have a few vices though. You may want to CLICK HERE to see about our food hoarding problem.

I must be morbid, but I often think, if I died today and someone had to clean up my life, what would they think? I'm pretty sure it wouldn't be a good impression. Issue #7 - "She's a drinker." Behold all of our CUPS.

Yeah, pretty much, that's what I said. Holy shit that's a lot of cups! We have every possible drinking contraption known to man. Oh wait, did you think that was it?

I'm sure an entire shelf dedicated to shot glasses wasn't enough - you've gotta have sports bottles and pitchers and thermos' too! What's that? All you've seen is coffee mugs, shot glasses, cute cups, wine & champagne glasses, and the above and you're not impressed? Don't act like this show is over... cuz it aint! FEAST YOUR EYES ON THIS!

I know folks... I know - we have a serious problem. We are addicted to drinking and I personally only enjoy it if it is done from an appropriate genre of cup.

There you have it, my dirty little confession - I'M A DRINKER!

Uhhh - PANIC - Backpedal - how exactly do I explain THAT!?

So I raced home last night after a grueling day at work and upon seeing my roommate in the hallway, had this conversation:

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Me: Ummm, so HEY, umm if you sort of write a blog about how hot you think a guy is in a movie, woul...

Her: Oh Oh, which movie...?

Me: Well, umm, you know that movie Amistad?

Her: Yeeeaaaaahhhhhhhh??????

Me: and also, ummm, American History X?

Her: (Shivers) Oh my god, remember that part where he “curbs” that one kid?

Me: So.. Yeah... if you sorta overlook, like, slavery and apartheid and stuff... Ummm and say something that happened during a hate crime was hot - is that bad?

Her: *Stare of disbelief*

Me: SO WAIT- it get’s worse!!! JUST NOW, this guy, a black guy, sends me a message saying “Hmmm, I don’t really know you, so all I can say is Hmmmm.” OH.MY.GOD. do you think he meant HMMM as in, she was totally digging on black guys or do you think he meant HMMM as in, this white chick just posted the most racist blog of all time?

Her: Marisa - Oh My God - why would you write that stuff?

Me: Dude, you never see movies with naked guys in it! I just wanted to say I thought it was hot! Oh Wait, I did see Kevin Bacon’s wiener in Wild Things... HA HA...

Her: Yeah, Kevin Bacon is hot too... But that’s like me saying the guys in Schindlers List were hot because they were naked right before they went into the incinerator!

Me: True, and I *MAY* have said something about Schindlers list as well - I KNOW I KNOW - but they were all skinny and stuff - I’m talking about Kimora’s baby daddy here....

Her: OH TOTALLY, that Djimon guy is HOT!

Me: I KNOW! So, now how do I explain to this guy that my dad is black, my cousins are black, that my ex and other roommate were black? He’s totally gonna think I’m pulling the old white girl “Oh no no, I didn’t mean it like THAT way - my best friend is black”... routine. You know there’s no way he read my backblog. OH MY GOD!

Her: Yeah, good luck with that.

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It pretty much went like that.
My whole life goes like that.

Let me properly introduce myself. “I’m Marisa. I’m awkward and NEVER pass up an opportunity to put my foot in my mouth!”

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Me with my ex Khari
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My favorite cousin Sunny
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Me, my dad, & brother

You don't wanna know...

Yeah, been meaning to write, but just haven’t had a chance. I have work projects and personal obligations and advertising meetings and crazy deadlines. I’m trying to be organized and yet still So I’m taking 10 minutes to eat my soup and type something.

Had a bunch of notes about things I wanted to tell you, but in my panic to get something... ANYTHING accomplished I left it at home.

HOWEVER, I DO REMEMBER ONE THING!

Do you guys remember the Seinfeld episode where Jerry felt weird about making out with his girlfriend during Schindler’s List, but it was like the only time they could be alone? I seem to have a pattern for being oddly turned on at COMPLETELY INAPPROPRIATE times at the movies.

1) American History X - Edward Norton.

Yup, I know! There he is running out into the street to “curb” some guy and all I can think is - So those are boxers huh? That’s hot. Hmmm, he looks good... little lower....
I’m imagining that was the opposite of the point.

2) Amistad - Djimon Hounsou

(Yes, I realize this picture was not from the movie... But if it isn't proof that this guy is a perfect specimen of man, I don't know what is... HEY, IT'S MY BLOG, I'LL DO WHAT I WANT!)
I’m thinking somewhere along the way I should have been really upset about slavery and injustice, etc etc
That might have happened if it wasn’t for the fact that all I could think was: DAMN that’s a lot of really fine black men. Can we go back to the boat scene?
Yes, I’ll hang my head in shame now.

3) Easter Promises - Viggo Mortensen

Alright folks, this is the last one, I promise. But there he is, all bad ass and naked. I suppose I should have been bothered by the blood and attempted murder, but funny story... I wasn’t. It was hot. I’m sorry.

Ok I’m not sorry.

Well, I’m sorry for those of you who think I’m being serious - or for anyone who thinks I have no soul and condone slavery and murder, but other than that - NOT SORRY!

Anyways, I tried to warn you that you didn't wanna know - you just had to read it, didn't you?!