Magic Milk Straws - REALLY?!

I must be REALLY observant. Like really, really. Things just catch my eye and they either amuse me or disturb me greatly.

Let's start with what disturbed me first.  (Check back later for an amusing post)

I'm at Target and I see these things called "Milk Straws"... Besides taking a detour to tell the general public.... GEEZZUSS CHRIST you can get calcium from sources other than what the dairy industry owned government brainwashed you into thinking was only milk... Is it really a problem to get your kids to drink milk?? I don't know, this is why I have a dog, so if he's bad I can sell him. I think you get in trouble if you do that with your kids. Not quite sure, but since I have none it's a moot issue anyways.

So here is this prized STRAW. Mmmmm strawberry milk is good right? Oh, and whats this? MAGIC Milk Straws. That's WAY better than a regular already made up thing any day, right?

However, I can't help myself. I wish ignorance was bliss, but I need to know - What's in a MAGIC MILK STRAW?

Oh no shit, you don't say?? Not just one, or two, but THREE different derivatives of SUGAR?!?! REALLY???? Uh huh. Yeah, it's real important your kids drink that milk right? I find my kids drink their milk better when I shoot them full of MAGIC heroin. Certainly the negative effects of that are counterbalanced and THEN SOME by the worlds only source of calcium, right? RIGHT?

Very disturbing folks, VERY DISTURBING!