Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Anger Issues

I wouldn't say I'm one to really even experience anger, but I think I now have a better understanding of what it is to be a man.

I have been experiencing an "almost" uncontrollable urge to just GO CRAZY. Scream, yell, throw things, break things... Apparently I'm just a bit stressed out!

Like yesterday...

After a stressful day at work, I was held over in the parking lot talking about some serious stuff. This caused me to miss my yoga class. So as I drive back towards my house I realize I have to plan 3 birthday parties and a goodbye party and a sandwich sale for the make-a-wish by Wed. I run to Me-N-Eds for a gift certificate. After 10 minutes of waiting, they inform me their manager is off for the next 3 days...

LAME - but ok... no problem.

Then over to Savemart where I'm trying to add up in my head everything from Get Well cards to Sandwich Pickles to birthday cake. (All which I am making by the way) I think I have everything (hey what's another $34... I already have ZERO in my bank account, but why not be nice and give some more to charity)

Get home... oh guess who didn't put 1 crucial bag in my car!!?!? Maybe that was a bit of an angry tingle I felt... So i rush home anyways to get my stuff together to go to Johns to watch Heroes... and he's making dinner (sweetheart that he is) As I go out to load up my car (And my hands are FULL of everything you can imagine...) I realize that my goddamn car has *AGAIN* locked its own doors. (it does this if you open and close the trunk... it locks the doors)

I really did have a moment. I was this close to just throwing down the glass baking sheet I was holding and rolling around in the broken glass... Just go crazy. CRAZEEE... I don't even know if I can explain it to you. But no no no, that's rediculous...

Now I'm a bit stressed so I race back to Savemart w/ the dog to retrieve my bag of stuff. I get that and I race clear back the other direction to Johns house. I get there and his driveway is on a steep slant. The dog jumps out of the car and JUST as my hands are full, the weight of the car door slams shut on my legs and knocks the carton of eggs out of my arms and onto the ground. Talk about my blood boiling! I think my eyes just glazed over.

I recover... no screaming... no nothing and walk up to the door and - the - front - door - is - locked! I've got my hands full of glass and broken eggs and a wild dog peeing on everything and the fucking door is locked?! The garage door is shut!?! The side gate is padlocked!?! So I ring ring ring ring ring ring ring the door bell no answer. Call call call call call the cell phone - no answer.

You want to talk about getting angry?!??! You want to talk about going crazy!?!?!? Just fucking losing it right there on the front lawn!?!?!? OH YEAH! Guess who was upstairs watching TV and playing his guitar without a care in the world? He better be happy he's so damn cute!

So anyways, as a very uneventful end to the story, I had a drink, we ate taco salad and watched Heroes and went to bed by 10:30...

But seriously, is this what it's like to be a guy... to have this uncontrollable anger just well up inside of you? MY GOD, it's HORRIBLE! I DEFINITELY DEFINITELY need to build myself a little meditation room and get a grip on myself. YIKES!


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