Monday, December 1, 2008

TRULY thankful for the strangest things...

So I re-read my post from the other day and realized it wasn't really a typical post about the things I'm thankful for. And then I realized I'm not thankful for the normal things. (Well, that's not true, I am thankful for EVERYTHING - for every breath - for every smile - for every good intention - every ray of sunlight - for every beautiful sight and sound and smell - for every feeling of good energy - for every still moment, but anyways...)

I can easily get wrapped up in badness, so I keep a gratitude journal. I believe that every day has 1 thing that makes that day worth waking up for. Some days I'm thankful for how happy I am when using my gel pens, for singing in the car when a good song comes on, for the 1st drink of my Mt Dew in the morning, for an unexpected email or text from a friend...

But times are tough for everybody...

What am I thankful for?
I'm thankful that I don't have children and I'm not burdened with the responsibility of another.
I'm thankful that I am not hooked on cigarettes or gambling or booze - whatever is an extra expense to daily living.
I'm thankful that I don't own my home. I've owned homes before, but in this economy and with my job hanging in the balance, I find some sick comfort in being able to pick up and walk away.
I'm thankful for the truly wonderful people that surround me. There are some genuinely good souls in this world and I know I've met most of them. My roommates and my best friend and my pirate and my cousin Sunny and... you know who you are...
I'm thankful for awareness. As contradictory and hypocritical and depressing as it may be... I'm thankful for the light.

I just don't know what the future holds, but I'm thankful for my past. I'm thankful that I know I can survive on my own. That I'm capable. That I know I can start over and be okay. That I'm somewhat smart. That I wasn't hit with the ugly stick. That while I struggle to know what will happen next, that I know it doesn't matter cuz everything will be okay.

I'm thankful for HarMar.
I'm thankful for being healthy and vegetarian and active.
I'm thankful for reuniting with my family.

Now it's 11pm and I'm ready for bed.


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