Friday, August 31, 2007

Fantasy Land...

I think I live in fantasy land. In fact, I know I do. And who wouldn’t want to? After all, Reality is so harsh.

I just want to know 1 thing - Why does everything have to be so difficult? In my head I’ve really worked out that things are very simple and the drama is so unnecessary.

I’m not saying you don’t have to work for things, but must each experience be so painful? Must each gain require so much loss? And sometimes the answer is just flat out NO, I can’t quite wrap my brain around it.

I guess all i’m trying to say is that, I don’t want to feel like this anymore. I’m a happy person. And I know I will be ok. So I’m ready to wrap this up and move on now. I want to tie all these feelings up in a pretty little box with a fluffy little bow and mail them away and go back to my happy go lucky self.

I fear, though, that all I’m doing is distracting myself and not really solving my problems. Everyone has their story. Everyone has their disfunction. I suppose I’m just so mostly confused by how I know what is others problems and disfunction versus what similar types of others problems I seem to draw to me. You see, that would make it MY problem. Hmmmm.

I think said most everything I wanted to say in my last blog so I won’t really reiterate - although a lot of that really does weigh on my mind. I have so much calculating left to do. What I WANT to do vs. what i NEED to do vs. what i SHOULD do.

I have more to say, but I need to go. And I should really quit putting these bad vibes out into the universe. I need to get back to “myself”... I need to do some yoga, my meditations, walking... all the things that I enjoy. I really need to refocus my energies, because it seems left to my own devices my energy becomes a bit chaotic and negative. I feel better already!


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